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Struggling with others showing interest.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Cinnamon Bunny, Dec 31, 2017.

  1. Cinnamon Bunny

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    South USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So an online gaming friend started to show interest in me. Indirect things like bringing up his now ex-girlfriend, asking about me and my age, asking me if I had any cosplay pics (didn't share), him sending me a pic of himself. Eventually he asked for my number in case I wanted to play a game on another platform. I quite casually told him he could just contact me on the old platform. I have zero interest in giving him my number or being anything more than casual friends. He apologized for "sounding weird" by asking for my number, yet later messages me saying he had a good time.

    I know how to firmly set boundaries and clearly communicate my stance. I'm good with picking up subtle ques of interest. What I'm struggling with is being open and friendly, noticing attraction, but not knowing how to handle or curtail it. Should I have cut the night short? Should I have made an indirect comment about how I'm not or couldn't interested? Should I mention how annoying it is when guys show interest when I barely know them to give a hint? Or is there nothing I can do and that's just life?

    I don't want to be cold with guys, but I'm feeling so dishearten with guys showing interest. I want guy friends, but I end up feeling like I can't have any!!! This is the second time to happen this week! I just feel like this keeps happening to me. I know it might sound like I'm complaining about a good thing... but if I'm not interested it's not good, if I barely have straight guy friends it's not good.
     
  2. Elendil

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Oregon
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    One way to handle it is that if he brings up something like his ex again just let him know that you're not really interested in dating for the time being and want to focus on friendship. If he respects your stance he should back off the dating hints and keep things on the level of friendship. You can have guy friends, you just need to stick to your boundaries and that will weed out the ones who are interested in friendship from the ones who only want to hook-up with you.

    I hope this was helpful!