I’ve been married for 20 plus years. And as a 49 year old male, I am finding myself attractive to other older men my age. I have only had a couple of experiences many years ago, however, I think about them often. I’m confused as to what I should act on. Is it a phase I’m going through or just feelings I’ve felt in the past? I don’t seek it out, although I do question why that is. Anyone else feel this way? What to do... Not sure if this the right forum, just asking questions.
Are you happily married? Do you love and are you attracted to your wife? If so, do not act on anything because you will ruin a happy situation with someone you love. If you had a few flings before, then put them in the past where they belong. If you are actually NOT happy, NOT attracted to your wife, then maybe you need to figure out further what your sexuality is. You could be Bisexual, and if that is the case you are able to love either sex and are attracted to either sex. If you had sex with men in the past, you could have been figuring out who you were. A lot of straight people do that as well. I am older as well, so I get where you are coming from. I was married, three kids, unhappy and knew I was attracted to women when I got married. My ex was trans so it was doable, but I found myself needing to be who I was, not in a straight looking relationship. I was not happy nor fufilled with a male. So take some time to think it through.
I agree with Lipstick Leuger ... first question to ask yourself is whether you're willing to rock the boat (and perhaps sink it as well) with your wife.
And that's a problem because it just feeds on itself. You tell yourself Do it or forget about it forever, but neither seems possible. This could be something you just keep as a fantasy. To tell or not to tell the wife is another issue. I'm in a similar position to you. I had some experiences many years ago, and I thought about them often. And then I went and acted on those thoughts. But I'm single so I have more leeway.
Hi, welcome to EC. You're in the right place. It's a tough decision and there's more than one way to move forward. There's no rush though, so take time to consider what you want and need. Is this something that you've discussed with your wife?
Thank you for your replies. Obviously this something I need to think about and decide what i want and need. I haven’t spoke to anyone about this and need to take time to figure it all out. Thanks again.
