Do you regret coming out?

Hi all, I came out on 2015. I am torn on the subject. Some days I'm happy I came out. My relationship with my exwife is much better and I value you the time I have with my sons now a alot more. However, now that I have in my opinion relived my gay adolescence and all of my attemps at finding a partner have failed, at times I wish I would have stayed closeted. After all, divorce causes mental/emotional and financial pain.

All in all I do feel better about myself. No more hiding, lying, or wondering when someone was going to out me. I just wonder will i ever meet Mr. Right and fear being alone for the rest of my days.

 

I definitely don’t regret it in the least. For me it was the best thing that ever happened to me ( except for my daughter). The sense of liberation was overwhelming mixed with relief. I did however like so many others came out in stages. In my experience it made the process easier. This is not to say without complications, however complications are a part of life straight, gay or otherwise.

 

Yeah, I kind of do. I told my parents I was bisexual a few years ago. I think it changed the way they viewed me and behaved around me in a way I didn't really like. It's not like they are staunch homophobics, they're not even religious but I get the sense that they are scared to talk about it in case they offend me or say the "wrong" thing. I was hoping they would feel more comfortable talking about it if they knew for sure, but instead it seems to have created a breakdown in communication.

And secondly to be honest, I don't think I know for sure what I am, sometimes I think I'm just REALLY lonely and my "gay feelings" are just a deep unmet need for male friends/intimacy in general. And then sometimes I think maybe I'm just 100% gay and not compatible with women in that way at all.

And also, I worry that I've wasted quite a few years locked away in my bedroom "coming to terms with myself" whilst everyone else was out there living life. I haven't really moved forward emotionally or socially, all I've done is age physically, and now I feel stunted. I still feel 19, but then I look in the mirror and I have to face the soul crushing reality that I am not the person I think I am any more. So maybe I've just wasted my life. How depressing is that.

 

I do not regret coming out. Life is so much better because I'm living in alignment with my sexual orientation and have fixed many of my personality quirks that resulted from being in denial/the closet. Having a BF is so much more natural and wonderful than dating women was. You discover what was missing from your life. There were definitely challenges getting here, though the benefits make it worth it for me. The key is to embrace your sexuality without reticence, take action, and have periods of introspection and reflection to help guide your course.

 

Would it be fair to say that people that find a same sex partner after coming out do not regret their decision to come out whilst people that remain single don't regret the decision but expected more developmental progress and joy after having come out and lastly some people regret it as nothing of consequence materialized and they feel that they were in much the same position prior to coming out?

Finding someone to love is the ultimate outcome we all strive for. We feel that coming out will accelerate that outcome. When it doesn't we feel disillusioned.

But notwithstanding I am glad that I came out. Even though I am alone I feel free and accept myself and approve of ME. I deserve not to hide myself away just because I love men. I am proud of me I guess.

 

I came out from a marriage to a really great gal, and occasionally I go, "wait, what?"

It was great where it was great, but I regret nothing cause it's only been better overall.