How do I deal with my dysphoria?

(hug)

Don't worry, HRT is typically highly effective at younger ages and you are considered really young compared to most trans women who transition. (A few years ago, the average age of transitioning was in the late 30s.)

Before coming out, it is important to have a strong support network to which you can turn to if your parents don't respond well. It is common for parents and family members to go through a process of acceptance when someone comes out as trans, we are a part of each others lives and coming out can lead them to feel as if they are losing you and this can make them initially hostile towards the idea of transitioning.

I came out after two weeks and my mother's reaction really took me by surprise as I assumed she would be there for me and understand. Instead of responding calmly and in an understanding way to her fears and anxieties, I broke down and things ended badly overall.

Coming out is obviously important and my story is not meant to keep you from doing so. Eventhough things went nearly as bad as it can be, I don't regret coming out and I learned and grew a lot as a result of everything that happened to me.

We each have our own unique journey to take and realizing that you are in control and have a lot of freedom in how you approach the various challenges that you will face is important. You don't have to do anything that you are not ready to do.

It is important to be patient with yourself and others. Transitioning typically takes mutiple years and learning to pace yourself and keeping yourself busy during the long periods of wait is also a part of the journey.

I'm glad you have friends you can turn to and that you realize the importance of seeing a therapist as a source of emotional support.

In my experience, the best ways to cope with dysphoria are the either to distract yourself and keep yourself busy or to express yourself in ways that you associate and connect with being a woman. (Personally, I find singing along with songs that I like really helpful.) It can also help to talk to people who you trust and that understand what you are going through.

When dysphoria is at its worse, I try to remind myself that the feeling is temporary and just a part of life. I try to sleep it off or distract myself until everything settles down and things return to normal.

Much love and I hope you feel better,



Eveline

 

When I was your age, my parents learned that I had cancer. It was a horrible year for my dad at work but he had a child in a hospital bed at home and that made everything else meaningless. My parents struggled and tried to cope as best as they could with an awful situation and only years later I understood how hard it was for them. During that year, I never complained and tried to act as if evedything was ok.

Unfortunately, no matter how much I loved them and how much I wanted to protect them from pain. I was a part of their lives, a part of them and they dealt with a lot as a result of the illness that I went through in the same way that I went through a lot. I'm older now and my brothers have children that I dearly love. We worry about them, love them and cope with the various problems and concerns that come up as they grow older. Everything changes when children enter into your life because suddenly your life seems so meaningless compared to theirs.

You aren't hurting your parents by coming out, in the same way that I didn't hurt my parents when I had cancer. You are sharing with them a part of yourself that is bringing you a huge amount of pain and sorrow. They are learning of something that they will have to cope with as parents because your pain is theirs and the last thing they want is for you to suffer.

Just talk from your heart and try to accept that some things are beyond our control. Remember that they will share with you not only the negative sides of transitioning, they will also share with you the joy and relief that you experience as you blossom into a beautiful young woman who no longer has to hide behind a mask.