Oh man. My love for this guy in my school has been so obsessive and today it took one tiny, simple discovery to smash my mood. To be honest, the main source of our friendship has been sending songs to each other (via online chat) and, for the past year, I thought this was something exclusive to us. It gave me hope that maybe, since he sends a song everyday, he could be interested into me. Today I found out that he has been doing this with another friend while we were in a voice call and I know you're probably thinking that I'm emotionally unstable if I'm getting annoyed over something small like this (perhaps I am?) but I genuinely thought of this as something exclusive and secret between us. My love for him is consuming me, I practically think about him for entire days non stop. I need someone to speak to. My social anxiety and obviously the fact that he's my crush have prevented me from being goofy and funny around him which I feel is pushing are friendship apart. I wish I wasn't in love with him because this is torture, especially when your crush comes to visit you at lunches in the music department to see if you're okay and is really supportive. It just leaves you begging for more.
Though I still feel like he's teasing me. For example, the other day in class when there was three of us sitting at the table our other friend starting revising over his history book. At one point he recited a line that mentioned something about Joseph Stalin and his brown eyes and then my crush looked straight into my eyes with a seductive look and says (let's say Bob is me) 'Bob has the most dominant eye colour', just that one line...
