@DesireEyes I love the way you put it about the 'package'. It happened to me too, I never would have imagined I could fall in love with a woman (!) who could be my mother by age (!!) but when it happened with her it felt like the most natural thing in the world. And in many ways loving her has also allowed me to love myself and experience feelings I never had before and the whole catalyst, eye-opening, awakening, transformative stuff, even though our relatonship isn't physical or romantic.
My wife is 35 and her gf is 50. /shrug I joke with her about it, but it's all in fun. As long as everyone is on the same page *wanting the same things out of the relationship* I can't see that it matters all that much, granted big age gaps can cause problems connecting but if you connect with the person and you want the same things from each other.. it's all good
I must say that despite the age gap that I'm not quite comfortable with, and the fact that I have no reason to think my crush and I will go out on an official date, I'm enjoying daydreaming at the moment. This made me realize that it has so long since I've liked someone or been excited about something in life. I know it's silly, but even if nothing ever happens between us, the experience of having a crush who pays attention to me is having some kind of positive effect on me. It's also kind of sad because it makes me realize how much I need that feeling of admiration, even in the slightest, most minimal degree. I'm pathetic.
Ok, I’ve kept my broken heart story to myself since it occurred in July (15 year relationship ended with an email...we were the same age...60) but I guess I’ll step in and tell you that once I forced myself to get out and meet people, I was attracting 34 to 37 year olds. Everyone I met who was my age seemed much too old for me. I guess it’s all about the energy you put out there. My new girlfriend is 34, a different racial background and we are deliriously happy. I’m done with worrying about anything. Just gonna embrace this new love and enjoy the ride. 2017 is ending in a way I could not have imagined possible this summer.
Hi @Her cat This is a very good point. My energy is younger than my age (41), and my crush's energy and appearance are both wayyyy beyond her age of 24. Otherwise, I don't believe I would've been attracted to her. Thanks for sharing your story. It's good for me to keep in mind that every situation is unique. ❤️
I'm attracted to someone significantly older than me, but when we talk sometimes I feel like the older one! I find it so cute that she's in touch with her young side. I never thought that I would like to be the one who's sort of being the "caretaker?" in the relationship if that makes sense? The one who the other one cries on the shoulder of, is what I mean. But I'm finding I really like that role.
Yes, it's interesting how different personalities can change the dynamics of the relationship. My crush is the strong, dependable type, so I understand that dynamic you wrote about. I guess there are really no rules, and we should look at each relationship as the unique case it is. I've just never dated someone that much younger. I don't know if my crush and I will ever reach the point of being in a relationship, but I guess as I get to know her better, I'll know whether the age gap is really an issue for me or not.
I get to see my crush this week. Why is it that my being excited about seeing her also makes me feel pathetic?
I'm thinking you're too hard on yourself, I think you might feel you shouldn't be attracted to her *Probably the age thing*. So I'd try to just let go of that, it's really ok to get excited to see her. And on a related note my wife and her gf just hit one month together, and their age difference is... right at 15 years. Just say'n
embrace that feeling!! UGH I miss that feeling! Any time I date someone recently all I feel is dread when I think about seeing them but I remember my first love and counting down the minutes. It's not pathetic. Its lovely!
Yes, you're right, I think it is the age thing that makes me feel pathetic. Thanks for sharing the info about the age difference between your wife and her GF. You're a very generous person to be supportive of her situation. I hope you're taking care of yourself as well. ❤️
Thank you for the kind words. How cone you dread the thought of seeing someone you're dating recently? Is it just being nervous?
No, it's lack of interest, I think! That's why I mean it when I say, that being excited to see someone is THE BEST feeling. Embrace it
As a 33 year old who is attracted to older women, I do think the age disparity is a thing. It just is. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying. I’ve been shunned by older women because I look young and am young, and I get it, but I’ve also had amazing relationships with older people (as old as 60) who realized we both have something to offer and ways to grow. Go for it!
OMG, I saw my crush today! We talked a little. On the outside I played it cool but inside I was dying! I was totally nervous, my legs felt like jello. I'm usually not so pathetic, really! I don't know what it is about this lady! So I was really happy that I saw her, and then later on in the day, an overwhelming sadness came up on me out of the blue. I couldn't wrap my head around why I felt this way. I started to think about my breakup back in September and how sad I was. Am I scared at even the thought of dating someone again? I found myself trying really hard to shake off that sad feeling but it lingered into the evening. What the heck is wrong with me? I have every reason to be happy in life right now. I don't know what to make of these emotions. It's very confusing.
