I'm straight but I think I'm bisexual- I really need help

Soo.. i hope any of my friends don't find this but let's start.

So I'm "straight" I've had one relationship with a boy ( I'm a girl )
Many of my friends are gay and there is one girl in the group that says she is asexual but sometimes she says she's straight. My other friends think she is questioning. Me and that girl get along really well. We are always together and I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this but we act gay. The reason I say that is I don't want to give away what I do in case they find this. Stuff like hugging( alllll the time, very clingy ), kink related stuff and overall stuff that makes my heart flutter ! My friends are all convinced I'm straight but I'm not so sure. I really like my friend and I think she likes me... I'm only been questioning for a year and a half but I'm really stressed about it. I I do want to do stuff like kiss her and other stuff, but also probably other girls as well. But I also like guys. I'm trying to convince myself that I'm straight but I really need help.

 

When was it the last time you felt attracted to boys ? and when you imagine yourself in a relationship , do you imagine yourself with girls , boys , both or just this girl is special ? have you ever been attracted to girls before this girl ?

 

Sounds like you're stressing about this. The questions ZINEB asked are all pertinent to figuring out your path. I say path because it's really a trap to try to figure out what you are. Because that suggests some kind of final answer and you never get those. Especially when you're young.

But let's take just what you said. You really want to kiss your friend, and maybe other girls too. It's strange but true that kissing is in some ways more intimate than sex. You will have a hard time convincing yourself you are straight with those thoughts running around. You don't sound totally straight. If this has been going on in your head for a year and a half that's even a stronger sign that it's not nothing. But you have both short-term and long-term worries about this. Should you kiss her? Should you ask first? And does this mean you're like "them" (gay girls) when them is now you?

Which brings us back to those questions ZINEB asked.

 

There is also this guy in my class I'm attracted to but I'm starting to lose interest. I haven't been interested with girls before this one. And I do see myself with both genders, but in general I'm not the confident with relationships so the fact that I want to be in one with a girl and it's all new to me is really stressful

 

Update:
I can see myself with other females and males as well. Also I'm to afraid to tell anyone, I think my friends will be supportive ( that's if I am bi ) but if I do figure out and tell them. I would also like to possibly ask the girl out. But I'm afraid she will say no and it will ruin our relationship. But I don't know, something tells me that she likes me but I'm to scared to say anything. But i don't want to miss my opportunity to say so either. We do plan on living together and traveling the world together. And we don't really do much around our friends but me and her have a class separate from them and we always just - like it's hard to explain but our faces have gotten so close we have could have kissed ( nearly did ) I'm just so confused. I was straight before. And I worry if things don't work out for us I turn out to not like other girls and it could just be a phase. Or maybe I'm only attracted to her even though I see myself with other girls. I just want an answer

 

I can totally relate to wanting to know the answer I’m that sort of person too and have been driving myself crazy trying to find the answer but to be honest people are forever changing and you probably won’t ever find the 100% answer. You can come close though by experiences so the only way you are going to know, is if you take a chance on this girl which sounds like you want to. Maybe when you are next really close, kiss her if that is what you want to do at the time. If you read the situation wrong then it’s not the end of the world or she could feel the same and has been dying to kiss you too.

 

I agree with Liar444 maybe you need to take a chance to know . and from what you said , it looks like she feels the same for you or something because she could have reacted somehow when you were so close and you would have known that she didn't want to be that close to you .

 

I just had a discussion with my friends and I was trying to ask some stuff without giving anything away. The topic of how do you know when someone likes you and they said they would be more clingy and talk to me more. And they all think this girl I like, likes me or this other girl. I don't know it made me happy hearing from someone I know that they think she likes me. And I want to do something but I don't know how to go about it. I'm really awkward about those things. Sometimes when we get really close to each other I might step back a bit because I'm really awkward but then I regret because I just want to be as close to her as I can be. How to go about it and how to face possible rejection?

 

Also I don't want to miss the opportunity but I'm still not sure and not ready to do something like kiss her.. I think. Idk

 

I’m afraid rejection is all part and parcel of living. You will be rejected throughout your life and you will also reject people too. I know it’s hard but surely the possibility of her feeling the same way is worth the risk? No need to rush, just pick the right time. Maybe you could be more touchy feeling towards her if you aren’t already and see how she reacts?

 

I'm already pretty clingy but I might try that, thank you. I do understand rejection is a part of life and I need to accept that. I think I'm going to take my time but give hints. Thank you I think I can do this

 

i think the fact that your friends can see that she likes you is a good first sign . I suggest you take it slowly don't rush yourself and don't overthink it a lot . After all the attraction is there . If you aren't sure you want to make the first move , i think just show her somehow that you are interested . I think someday you will have the opportunity to kiss her without planning it

 

I'm definitely not the one to make the first move. I hope she's interested and I hope I get the opportunity to be able to kiss her. Thank you

 

You are quite welcome <3 i hope everything goes right for you