For those who are out, do your parents accept you?

This is honestly not my story but it's my friend who is a gay. All of our friends and his sister knows that he is gay except his grandparents, they are the ones who raise him since he is a child and he simply doesn't want to disappoint them. He acts like a real man at home. He is a different person whenever he visits them. This friend of mine wears a makeup when he is out of his comfort zone. He honestly doesn't know how to tell them, it is sad cause they are the only person who doesn't know the truth.

 

I'm lucky in that my parents are accepting, and were supportive of me transitioning. They do call me by my name and pronouns, although I know they slip up occasionally, but they usually get it right. To be honest, I feel like they sometimes go out of their way to avoid referring to me in a sentence, like I almost never hear them use my name, they'll just try to find some other way to refer to me. I try to be patient and give them credit for trying cause I know it's hard to switch over, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me at all when I can hear them try to subtly not gender me in conversation. My parents didn't really impose much gender roles on me or my brother, so I'm not sure how I would tell if they are treating me like a cis male child or not. I honestly doubt that they view me as male, but I try not to think about it.

One of my biggest roadblocks when coming out was feeling guilty because I knew that I was upsetting my parents- the whole "losing a child" thing. I really beat myself up with guilty feelings about it, but I couldn't make myself not want to transition, so I had to go through with it.

 

Unfortunately I lost my parents from transition. When I initially came out to them two years ago it was really, really difficult and they were extremely unaccepting - resulting in me being forcibly recloseted. After I moved out to go to university and began transitioning, my family disowned me. This reached through my immediate family and both sides of my extended family. So while for the first time in my life I am living authentically and in that regard I am happy, I paid a very high and painful price. It's still something I'm working to come to terms with.

But on a more hopeful note, even if you do lose people, there will always be others who will love and support you. Here at university I have the most beautiful group of people to call my friends. Several of then are trans themselves and while not in my exact situation, can understand. They have been my bedrock and every time I've broken down they've been there. As an example, I am not able to go home for holidays and winter break is coming up. Six of my friends, on their own accord, spoke to their families about opening their home to me so I wouldn't be alone. That kind of kindness shook me. And it was then that I realized that sometimes, yes, it will be hard. Fucking hard. But you have to get back up again and create your own family.

However it goes for you I wish you all the best. Be patient and always keep fighting.

 

I came out about 2 years ago and they needed some time to get to grips and try to understand what transgender means but they didn't shun me and they try. They do still slip up on pronouns occasionally and you can hear the pause before they call me Zac but they're trying I guess. The only thing that makes me think they're not so accepting is that they refuse to tell their families. My mum says telling her parents would cause them an early death.. and it would be too confusing for them. My dad says he's been meaning to go around and sit down with his mum and explain it to her but it just hasn't happened. So I've not been able to see them since starting testosterone because it'd probably scare them to see me with a deep voice and hair on my face. Also I'm expecting to be disowned by my extended family because I'm Indian, I have a massive family and there is no one LGBT in it, they're not exactly accepting. So I'm very lucky that my parents are open minded.

 

Well, as a person, my parents accept me. They don't use my chosen name nor do they use the proper pronouns. I'm living with my grandparents right now though as I go through university, and I essentially started my social transition as I moved, so I think a big part of them not using the proper pronouns and such is because they aren't used to it. I'm going back in a week to visit and while they're excited, my mom has told me that they're both really nervous to have me back, that they're scared to be shocked, thinking I'll look completely different. My grandparents, on the other hand, are super accepting and seriously helping in so many ways with my transition and I feel so lucky to have them.

This really hit home for me. Especially with my grandparents since they're very strong Catholics. I know not every religious person is some crazy anti-lgbt nut, I guess I just had my assumptions. I ended up putting off coming out to them for nearly a year after coming out to my parents out of fear, and basically delayed my social transition because of that.

 

I've been really lucky. Only a couple members of my extended family were not accepting of my transition. My dad and my mom have both been accepting. My mom, who has now passed, said that she had an idea that I was trans for years. My step mom knew me before I transitioned and she has never had a problem with it. She had some questions, but they were all respectful and asked out of concern for my safety.

My mother's side of the family was a bit late finding things out. I was away at college when they visited my mother. So, in one of the most awkward experiences of my Life, a lot of them found out at my mother's funeral.. They were all accepting of it and I apologized a ton for them having to find out that way. When your parent is terminally ill, sometimes things get accidentally overlooked.