I am having a hard time with identifying my emotions. When I look at guys in movies and such I always identify with them and want to look like them to the point it hurts. I rarely identify with a female character. They are usually my "love interest." Lol. Anyway, I have days without dysphoria, without thinking about gender. I am happiest this way and even if I act feminine it is ok. I do not act typically masculine anyway. Am I really trans, or just repeating a cycle of highs and lows? Could it be more of a gender fluidity? I've been feeling less and less as identifying with trans, just doing whatever I want. If I feel more masculine inside, it isn't wrong. But do I really want all the trappings (surgeries and hormones) that go with it? No. I can identify as masculine and still be female. I don't know. I am just writing this out because I feel confused.
If you are fine identifying as masculine and still being female, then you're probably just female. If you're masculine then you might identify with masculine/male characters even if you're female (well, as of 13th he will be female, but I identify with The Doctor at various stages even though he is male). If you are happiest when you have days without thinking about gender, I suggest taking a break from this and similarly related websites. I suggest about six months. After which, if you still experience feelings of being male, then revisit your 'options'.
I've wondered that a lot. In fact my whole trans phase started after I came to terms that I was a lesbian. It is almost as though if I was a man, my relationship with a woman wouldn't be frowned upon. So this confuses me too.
