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Complicated Sexual Orientation

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Ima Person, Dec 9, 2017.

  1. Ima Person

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    Woo, first post. But is it me, or is sexual orientation much harder to define than most people think, as everyone is attracted to different things, the reason i'm asking, is because someone i know is attracted to girls and boys, but she's more attracted to girls than boys, like a lot more, but she doesn't hide the fact that she does find some guys attractive, however, she says that she identifies as lesbian because of how much more she likes girls compared to boys. So i was wondering if anyone else had any experiences, or knows of anyone like that, or, has a thought on the complexity of orientation?
     
  2. Redsweater

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    I'm quite similar to your friend. I like dudes, like a lot, a lot, a lot more than girls. The only things about girls I find attractive about is more their personality, not really their parts. I just define myself as gay because I feel I don't have a big enough attraction to girls, I will always find dudes hotter and more romantic to me.
     
  3. LunaMare

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    Oh it's definitely a lot more complicated than I always expected before I finally started thinking about my sexuality myself. I think most people who don't really know that much about sexual orientation just assume you know you're either one thing or the other and that's what I thought as well. But it's not that black and white, there's a whole spectrum you can fall on and so many different orientations. Then there's also sometimes a difference between romantic and sexual attractions. Maybe you can look up the kinsey scale.

    Your friend sounds kind of like me. I'm still figuring it out though. I don't really know how to label myself rightt now. Labels like lesbian or bisexual can be really helpfull to help you feel part of a group, to help others understand you better, to help you come out or just to feel like your feelings are valid. But labels can also be very restricting. I don't have a lot of experience but ever since admitting I like girls, the little interested I always thought I had almost disapeared. I like certain boys but I like a lot of girls a lot more, so what does that make me? I don't know and for now I don't feel like I have to put myself in a box, maybe I never will. People will make assumptions and I do use labels when I need them to explain things to others but most of all I'm just trying to follow my heart and find someone to love, who cares about their gender as long as you love someone right? But it will most probably be a girl
     
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  4. silverhalo

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    Yeah I think it's actually not as unusual as you think to just that some people in your friends position that identify as lesbian keep their male attraction quiet so as not to bring on many questions.
    Sexuality is really complex and definitely a scale with straight at one end and gay at the other and bi in the middle but very few people are 100% gay or straight and even people who identify as bi are rarely 50:50 on their attraction :slight_smile:.
     
  5. Ima Person

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    Yeah, sometimes it still astounds me how different 2 people can be, even when they identify as the same, but I guess that's personalities for ya.
     
  6. silverhalo

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    Well not all straight people are the same.
     
  7. Ima Person

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    Yeah I know most straight people aren't the same, I'd be slightly concerned if they were, but i just meant in general about how 2 people can be so different, still, makes getting to know people more interesting when you have a lot to learn.
    :slight_smile:
     
  8. silverhalo

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    Haha absolutely variety is the spice of life :slight_smile: