Okay, I'm 17 and I'm sure everyone knows by now but I've had a bad history with self-harm. Well, cutting mostly. I don't have scars from anything else I used to do, only cutting scars. And they're all over my thighs but they're covered by clothing always because I'm ashamed. My mom knows that I used to cut, I don't know if my dad does. I'm supposed to get my skin checked soon, I don't know when but my mom's making an appointment for the entire family. So, my skin, moles or freckles specifically, will be examined for melanoma. I don't have any I'm worried about, I check up on them every now and again and none look cancerous/show any symptoms. But my mom wants us all to go to the doctor anyway. I asked if I had to strip down to my underwear and she said, of course I would because otherwise the doctor wouldn't be able to check everything. But I'm certain that I don't have any moles or freckles around my thighs so I don't see why I'd need to take my pants off. I really don't want to do that. I'm thinking that on the day, I should wear boxers underneath so that my thighs are covered but I don't know. Can't I just outright refuse to get undressed?? I'll take my shirt off because I actually do have like one or two freckles on my back but I have nothing on my legs. And the only reasons I want to hide the scars are: 1) I realize that cutting was an utterly stupid thing to do and I feel like it makes me look incredibly immature/attention-seeking 2) I don't like talking about my past with cutting (for reasons, see above), I'm just embarrassed 3) Coming clean about cutting was honestly one of the hardest conversations I've ever had with my mother and I don't want them to try and talk to her about it again…it's in the past, why can't everyone just let it be? I've heard that since I'm over 16, I can legally refuse any medical treatment my parents try to give me, does that also mean I'm allowed to refuse to strip down completely for the exam? And if I do have to strip anyway, will the doctor say anything or will they understand that it's an uncomfortable topic?* *Note, these are scars not cuts so it's not like I'm actively harming myself…
That probably depends on the doctor. However if you show them to the doctor, they might be able to suggest something to make the scars less noticeable. Because there are things for that, I just can't think of any brand at the moment.
The thing is, a doctor should not be shocked by self-harm scars and should understand that it's a sensitive topic. Unfortunately, we can't guarantee that they will act react the way you'd want, but the vast majority should be used to dealing with this. I would think a dermatologist would be even more used to seeing self-harm scars than some other specialties, considering how much skin they look at every day. When they get to that part of your skin, if you feel compelled or if they ask you about it (which they may out of concern for your mental health), you can say that those are old scars, you sought treatment, and you haven't self harmed in a long time. They shouldn't bring it up with your mother if they know that it isn't a problem anymore. I do get where you're coming from. I used to self-harm too, and it's not something I love talking about. The doctors are professionals though, so they should be understanding.
