When and at what moment did you discover you were actually gay?

First of all I'd like to say that you are not alone in feeling bizarrely sad after orgasm - I don't orgasm easily, but when I do I sometimes feel overcome like that. I have also felt that feeling when my partner orgasms.

Secondly, sexuality is not always a straight forward thing. Some people are gay, some are straight, but some are in between, even if leaning strongly in one direction or the other.

I think I'm bi but leaning gay. How I realised? I never thought I was 100 percent straight, but then I never gave it much thought either. I have felt physically attracted to men in the past and wanted to act on it, but nowadays feel cool with not acting on any attractions to men. I have also been physically attracted to women in the past but didn't recognise it for what it was - because I didn't want to see that about myself - I just wanted to marry and have children - and because I couldn't identify with the stereotypical image of a butch woman at all. When my marriage was in a bad place I came to realise that I had mistakenly fallen in love with a woman. Boy was that a painful awakening. The more so because I felt it was not a good idea to tell her, so - after huge angst - didn't. The more so because I am married with kids. What made me suspect that I am closer to gay than not was that I suddenly wanted to do stuff to that woman that I had never fantasised about doing to a man. And I wanted to make love to her proactively more than have sex done to me. I'd never felt really comfortable and at home with those words "make love to..." before.....I just thought I was "having sex" kind of a person and that was all. Now I am with a woman that I am attracted to and in love with my feelings have been confirmed. I just find it easier being a woman and I feel like I am a much better lover to a woman than I am able to be with a man. I cannot say for sure that I could never connect that way with a man - I just think that the connection is more likely with a woman. In particular I seem to be able to show tenderness more easily and without any kind of shyness. In that sense I now feel that I am whole, despite the fact that this is very difficult to accept about myself.

 

I know that my case might be a bit different, but at times, I felt sad and even cried after engaging sexually with my wife in the past. I knew that I was gay very early in my life, may be 5th or 6th grade, but never put this label to it. I refused to be gay, I pushed myself to act and be straight, but I always knew that I have no heterosexual interest and that men always attracted my eyes.
Getting married and having a family gave me the idea that I might be bi and made me question my sexual orientation later on, even till today. I know that I'm gay though and could not and cannot change that.

 

I was around 6 years old.

I was at my cousins house and we were watching WWF/WWE wrestling on TV.

I found the guys in their singlets and shorts fighting and pinning each other. I just was attracted to that.

I remember when I went home, I was in bed just knowing at that moment I was gay, and it was a sad yet happy experience at the same time.

So even at that young age, I knew what gay was.

Now over 20 years later, I can still say that was my first moment and instance I knew.

 

I have known I was bisexual since puberty. However, for the past 3 years I have realized that I am not attracted to men at all. I do believe that sexuality can be fluid, though looking back I may have just ignored the fact that I preferred women over men the whole time. I can't go back in time, so I accept it now. It has been a rough and confusing 3 years for me, but the more I accept myself as a lesbian, the happier I feel.

 

I was 11 years old when I noticed I was different from my other girlfriends who were always talking about boys and I just wasn't interested in that. I was in my head trying to figure out why I saw one of my girlfriends as attractive and I wanted to kiss her and hold her hand. I grew from there when I realized there were other girls like me and kissed and dated my first girl. It just grew there and by the 9th grade and when I was 14 years old I told my parents I was a Lesbian. They supported me which I was relieved and I continued to date girls through high school. In college when I played on the schools basketball team and all of my teammates were pretty close. There was one that I was pretty close with as friends and when I was 20 and she was 21 we became lovers as well. She then graduated and then I did the year after and we continued our relationship leading up to getting married on May 27, 2016. I also just recently found out after awhile of trying to get pregnant through artificial insemination that I finally am over 3 weeks pregnant and have a due date for August 7, 2018.

 

I was hit with the realization that I might be lesbian about 4 years into my marriage (to a man), when I fell in love with a female at work. She was an out of the closet lesbian. At that point, i still tried to rationalize I felt attracted to her because I didn’t have my emotional or any needs met by my husband...but it did break my self confidence and made me question everything, gave me anxiety, etc. especially because just being next to her would make me extremely aroused, like I had never been/ experienced in my life. I separated from my husband and I had sex with her, I am definitely a lesbian. I cannot say that I thoroughly enjoyed sex at first with her, because every single thing we would do I would think ‘this is soooo wrong’ or ‘oh my God, what am I doing?’
I am in therapy and I have associated sex with guilt and shame for 33 years...it’s no wonder I have had so many conflicting feelings.
So my point of the story is, it may be how you have viewed sex until now...it may be that you are somewhere in the middle on the Kinsley scale, but that you have something holding you back from enjoying sex with the same gender...

 

It wasn't so much "discovering" I was gay, as it was realizing that was the only explanation for what I felt, which I was very aware of before I was a teenager. I know I read about homosexuality in some psychology book or other at the public library, but it stressed more behaviors than anything else. So although I found guys attractive, because I was interested in a family and kids, and did NOT have a propensity for wearing bright colors, flamboyant behavior, drug and alcohol abuse, and anonymous sex, I concluded that I wasn't gay, but some nameless other thing--maybe bisexual. Kind of absurd. It took a lot of years before I could separate the feelings and emotions from the stereotypical behaviors and conclude that yes, I was gay, there was no other explanation.