Anybody else jealous of straight people? Like it will be a straight guy talking about his girlfriend, or his wife or his children or whatever. When I'm alone and don't have anybody. Anybody angry at other LGBT people? I mean I'm happy for queer people that are happy for themselves. But most queer people are apart of cliques and things, and I get angry at that. I also get mad at other gay men that hate me for being black and gay. It sucks.
You being alone doesn't have to do anything with you being gay, black or whatever else(unless you're in a country that being gay is punishable by death, like me!) English is not my first language I'm not trying to be rude, note that. You're just always angry. With everyone and mostly yourself. I think you hate your blackness more than anyone else. First you have to work on accepting you skin color, and your sexuality. You shouldn't wait for someone to come along and do that for you. Maybe good people just feel this negativity that you have within yourself. You don't need to love yourself (but if you did, that would be nice) but at least you have to come to a stage of acceptance of who you are. If you can not accept that you're gay, black or whatever how can you expect acceptance from other people?(even if they do accept you, like most people here, they can't deal with 2 people's insecurities) And also, not accepting yourself gives you a higher chance of getting traped in an unhealthy (or other bad words) relationships. Stop being angry at everyone and everything (specially things like sexuality cause people don't have any choice in who they fall in love with) and look for some positive things.
But still, I'm still upset and mad and agitated. I do accept myself. That's why I'm mad. Nobody likes that. I'm just being myself. I just want motivation or a distraction. The fact there are homophobic places make me even more upset. I'm gonna do what I want. I'm going to scream. I'm going to yell. I'm going to get mad. I'm' going to cause scenes. I tried to be nice, and be patient. I'm done. I feel no matter what I do it's fail. You just don't understand. I don't care for a toxic relationship. I just want to learn the hard way. If that's the way I was supposed to live my life and die then oh well. I give up. I will complain sorry.
Sometimes, yeah. Especially when they make flippant comments about wanting to be LGBT, or how much "easier" we have it (misconceptions). LGBT folk, sure, because we're supposed to be like one big family, when others see nothing in common with those outside their demographic(s), throw others under the bus, or want to go their own way. Human nature, I suppose, but still.
I use to envy straight people but really what it was is I was in denial. I thought my life would never be normal but then I realized that many gay people have really good lives. On the topic of other lgbt people, it's weird for me. I have a very hard time making friends with gay men (excluding people from this site) I sometimes went to gay groups and for a little while it helped but then I started going back into denial. It was some of the gay guys who made me feel that way too. Many of them would judge what music I listened to and would call me a gold star gay (gay guy who hasn't ever had sex with a woman) like it was a bad thing. I stopped going and after that I reaccepted myself. So yeah going to gay groups didn't help me. Also on the topic of race issues in the gay community, I don't understand it why some guys put "no blacks" or "no Asians" I mean like why cut yourself short because I have found people of all races attractive.
I get the feeling. I feel jealous of straight people being normal and having an easy time finding a date. But I'm pretty glad I don't have to date guys. I actually get more jealous of LGBT people who can actually get a date. I don't get too jealous of straight people because I know they're playing on easy mode. I just feel too weird to ever find someone. It's way easier to be weird and straight because of the huge dating pool.
I feel like you may be projecting just a bit on straight couples (or perhaps couples in general) but the only thing I see we should envy straight relationships for is the universal acceptance. Other than that, they're really not different from the rest of us. You show me a gay couple that struggles with infidelity, raising a family, trust, communication, abuse, std's, finances, etc. and I'll show you three straight couples who suffer from the exact same thing(s). All relationships, same sex or otherwise, are doomed to have their share of hurdles. No one has it easy. The sooner people are able to realize that, the much better off they'll be. I get where you're coming from with the whole black and gay thing. It's like you have 2 strikes against you; and if you're Christian, then you've got 3. But again nobody has it easy. Don't put your energy into something that you aren't liable to change. People who have a preconceived notion about you based on your sexual orientation and/or race are just ignorant; and for gay people to pull that kind of stuff when they have been exiled and shunned by straight people is just hypocritical.
