a few years ago i came to terms with the fact that i was a lesbian and i kissed and dated girls and it was great. the concept of being with a man sexually was not originally appealing to me in the same way that being with a woman was, but i found myself becoming more and more open to men and experimenting with labels and different genders as time passed. i met a guy about 3 months ago and we really hit it off and i felt myself forming a crush on him, and so i started ID-ing as bi and we started going out. i really enjoyed talking with him and having a good time hanging out, but the first time we kissed... i cried. literally i went home and cried for an hour because i was feeling uncomfortable and gross and all around disgusting. we went out a few more times and every time we would get physical and go a little further, i would just feel a sense of uneasiness and violation. i originally chalked this up to me having been assaulted and traumatized by men in the past and the fact that i have emotional intimacy issues and anxieties, but i'm beginning to think that this means something more than being afraid of vulnerability. do you think it's possible that i could actually just be a lesbian? ALSO: any lesbian who has dated men in the past - how did you know you were a lesbian while you were still in the relationship?
I dated a man for over a year, we both identified as Bisexual. He made me laugh and smile and i enjoyed being around him. It was different to my other guy friends but physical stuff was not right for me. It didn't occur to me that maybe its because I wasn't sexually attracted to him. I just thought it was me and because of the head place I was in. I had also come from a unhealthy relationship with a women before so I think I was just appreciating someone that treated me half decent. I ended up having a long conversation with him and it resulted in us splitting up but he is still like my best friend. Anyway- What i learnt from that is enjoying someones time with them and having a deeper connection is very much possible without being sexually attracted to them. I call myself Biromantic and Homosexual but for easy of explaining it to other people who wouldn't have a clue I just came out as a lesbian. In your case try and break down the difference between romantic and sexual attraction and see if that helps! Messabe me if you need anything
I was in a relationship with a guy for a year or so. We had some great times because we had a lot of things in common and liked the same stuff, but I didn't enjoyed the physical contact with him and I felt that our relationship was lacking something, I couldn't really connect with him. At first I thought that it was just because of me, that I wasn't much into sex, and also because my anxiety and intimacy issues but it wasn't really that. A few months afterwards something just clicked in me and started to think about my sexual orientation.
