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Am I Bi or Gay?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Fischer, Dec 1, 2017.

  1. Fischer

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    So I am unsure if I am bi or gay. Right now I am inlove with a boy but I had some crushes on both genders when I was younger. I like to date both genders but I am easily more attracted to men both emotionally and sexually. For women, I can be attracted to them emotionally but it is hard for me to sexualize them. I get turned on by men alot more often than women. A women undressing or having sex doesn't really turn me on but there are rare times that in a certain fetish, they kinda give me boners. Well I can only remember like 2 or 3 times that it happened though. Sometimes I get flustered from receiving compliments from both genders but it depends if who said it. Maybe I think I'm gay because I was inlove with men on the past years and because I get turned on by them more. Or maybe I'm bisexual and thought I was gay just because I am currently inlove with a man. I would love to have a girl friend while I also love to have a relationship with a boy.

    I think I am more comfortable to be labled as a bisexual but based on my sexual thoughts I might be just gay. Or maybe I'm demisexual towards girls? I really don't know I often get dreams that I am gay while sometimes I dream about being bisexual or even being straight. I just plan on coming out to more of my friends but still unsure of my sexuality.
     
  2. Twist

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    Not all bisexual people are equally attracted to both men and women.

    Most, in my experience, see the heterosexual-->bisexual-->homosexual as a spectrum where people can fall anywhere along the line between the three from 100% hetero to 50/50 bisexual to 100% homosexual.

    For example, I have spent the majority of the last 13 years on the 80/20 spot on that spectrum. Prior to that I was 100% homosexual, and the last few years I've found myself slipping off the spectrum entirely into the arena of being pansexual.
     
  3. Fischer

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    So does being not sexually attracted to women unlike to men counted as being bisexual? or is that only me being biromantic? I see myself as 80% emotionally attracted to men and 20% to women, but when it comes to sexual stuff I see it as 99% to men and 1% to women. So because of my sexual interest, I am quite confused. But is sexuality only all about sexual desires? Or does other things affect it?
     
  4. jam93

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    So the way I've most often heard it, bisexual means you have some degree of attraction to both, either sexual or romantic. You don't have to be equally attracted to both, or even both sexualy and romantically attracted to both. Like Twist said, it's a spectrum, from 100% gay to 100% straight with a lot of different shades of bi/pansexuality in the middle. Anyone in that middle, anyone who who isn't at the extremes, can be considered bi. Now that being said, it is just a label. It's just a way of describing yourself so others can understand who you are and who you are attracted too. If you feel like your attractions to women are fairly unimportant and think gay is a better discriptor of you, use that. It's really up to you what discribes you best.
     
  5. questionable

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    I've been through this phase, but what I can only advise is that you shouldn't worry about labeling yourself. Those are just words to describe your sexuality, it doesn't define who you are as a whole. Just be with someone who you feel comfortable with or be attracted to anyone you like as long as it makes you happy and you're not harming yourself and the others through it. Cheers pare! Wag ka masyado mag-alala tungkol diyan! :slight_smile:
     
    itsuka likes this.
  6. Redsweater

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    I'm in a similar position to you, but it sounds like I may like boys more. I like boys more sexually and romantically way more than girls. Like maybe 80/20 for romantic attraction and 95/5 for sexual attraction. I'd say to just label yourself how you want to. With the way I described myself, I am actually a little bit bisexual. But I just lable myself as gay becuase Gay is an umbrella term, like LGBT and I don't really see my self in the future with a girl as a lover, but that could change.
     
    #6 Redsweater, Dec 3, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2017