Hi, So I know this doesn't actually sound that bad, but I think my entire life I've been somewhat unsure of my orientation. I've always been able to see other girls as attractive, but I never really fantasize or see a short or long term relationship with one. I thought of myself as straight and had a couple of crushes on guys, but I've never had a relationship with a guy or a girl, and never done anything romantically or sexually at all. I started questioning myself when I had a serious infatuation on this girl I barely knew for a solid couple of months, even though I got over it pretty easily. Since then, I've had a couple less serious crushes on girls, starting with me finding them attractive and then my finding qualities about them that I like, and then I have a couple of dreams at night, although the dreams aren't romantic or sexual. I accidentally strayed to the dark side of the internet at one point and discovered porn, erotica, and erotic games and the like, but I found that I can only tolerate heterosexual stuff, because I know this is bad, but I don't enjoy the thought of homosexual sex... So right now I'm unsure of what or who I am, while everybody around me seems to be sure of their orientation, even though we're only 14... I have done some research and I think I might be homoromantic and heterosexual, or something along similar lines, but it's hard to tell, and my emotions are thoroughly confused. I know I shouldn't necessarily try to classify myself as one or another, but I think I've always been this way, one side of the spectrum, and nothing has changed, even from before I knew what gay meant. Help, please, someone?! Sorry for the messy and all over the place structure. So I've already kind of posted this, but I really need help guys because I'm scared and confused PLEASE HELP
Like I would tell anyone your age I think you are doing the right thing when you are saying you are doing research and exploring things. At your age I don't think you need to put a specific label on yourself especially if you are still unsure. For myself I was a bit different. I was young like yourself when I started questioning my sexuality and did exploring but it always led back to one thing I was solely attracted to girls. So I knew even back at that early age I was a Lesbian. For yourself it seems to be a bit more complicated and there is nothing wrong with that. What my advice to you is to continue to explore your sexuality and you will soon come up will more and more answers that will make things clearer and clearer. There is no reason though at this time to put a label on yourself right now. I hope this helps a little bit.
Thank you, I guess I'm just anxious to figure out who I am, since everybody around me seems to be so sure of their sexual orientation.
Honey you would be surprised how many people have no clue what their sexual orientation is. Even people my age and older don't know and I am 29 years old.
You sound like you might be aromantic asexual. You find people aesthetically pleasing but you don't want to engage in romantic or sexual acts right?
I don't think I'm aromantic or asexual, but I can't be certain. I can't really see a future with any crush, male or female or other, but I think I can get turned on by males, maybe. Like if I were to read erotica, it would be straight girl on straight guy, and depending on my mood, I might consider masturbation. I think when the time comes I would want to be sexually active, but yes, when I see somebody who looks attractive I don't immediately jump to thinking about that kind of stuff. Is that normal?
Yes completely normal, not many people can see an attractive person in the street and automatically be sexually attracted to them. A lot of people, mainly women it seems need to get to know a person more first. Don’t worry about not having an answer, just focus on being you and see how things go.
Thank you. I just want to figure this out because I know pretty well what I've been feeling, but I want to see what this would be defined as, and whether it affects my sexual orientation...
