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Catalyst here...maybe. Advice?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Woodswoman, Nov 6, 2017.

  1. Mabel

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    Cliffhanger indeed! I wish you luck!
     
  2. idsm

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    Now, that's not cool...

    get back here and spill it all!
     
  3. Woodswoman

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    Episode 2 :slight_smile:
    So, we went to lunch and were able to get a fairly private spot. We chit-chatted about nothing for a bit. Inside I was a mess...terrified, excited, nervous, thoughts bouncing all over. Then, a pause. I took a deep breath and said, 'hey you know that text I sent you a few weeks ago, about the line between us as friends getting fuzzy?' She put down her wrap, smiled and said, 'yes, what do you want to talk about?' At this point I'm floundering already, my courage quickly dissipated once breaching the subject, but knowing I have to follow through now. I'm looking everywhere but at HER, this woman who somehow entrances me. I can't remember word by word what happened next, but what I said was along the lines of: 'I love our friendship, am grateful that I have you as a friend, I don't want to make things awkward but need you to know that I have become attracted to you and sometimes I get confused about some of the things you say and do, like, I'm getting mixed messages and I was just hoping that you could help me with defining that line.' It was way more jumbled than that coming out of my mouth, and I have no idea if this is really the message that she heard lol. But at the time I figured she got the jist of it. She did respond with short answers throughout my bumbling, starting with 'Oh!' and an 'I'm sorry' when the mixed messages came up, then a simple 'yes' when I asked her to help definite this. But then that was it! She didn't ask me any questions or offer any of her own feelings. I felt a lot better for getting some things off my chest and thanked her for allowing me to, but I was honestly still confused about where she stood. The conversation veered back into safer territory, and i figured I'd just give her time to think about what I said.

    Fast forward a few hours. We both worked late and everyone else had left. I wandered into her office and couldn't believe what she was doing! Don't get too excited now, nothing like what you might be thinking haha.

    Episode 3 coming up soon haha...like an hour or so
     
  4. Really

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    Haha. It’s like you’re doing this on purpose!
     
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  5. Mabel

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    Ok this is really, really mean :frowning2:
     
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  6. silverhalo

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    She is definitely doing it on purpose.
     
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  7. idsm

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    Time's up. Just saying...
     
  8. Woodswoman

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    Omg guys gimme a break! I am running like non-stop lately haha. So now I'm sitting in my grandparents driveway before heading home where I have no friggin service. Anyway, back to it...

    Episode 3:
    My first name isn't necessarily unique, but it is unusual that it's not an abbreviation for a slightly longer name. I dont really know if its safe to just blurt it out here. Honestly I haven't done much online since my college years except for work. This seems random but bear with me. If you can figure out my name kudos to you but here's some hints. My dad loved this one song in the 70's so much that that's where my name came from. The singer has an almost cult following of older women who likely cried their hearts out when he came out as gay several years ago. The song says I came and gave without taking. Got it yet? Lol

    My point is, when I wandered unexpectedly into my friend's office yesterday, she was playing that song quietly on YouTube on her computer! Whaaaat?? I'd never said anything to her about the song or that it's where my name actually came from. Omg what does that mean if anything?? It sounds like something I'd do if I had a thing for somebody who just laid their heart out to me, and there happened to be a love song about them lol. What do y'all think?
     
  9. idsm

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    Biggest question. Did she pause the song and/or tried to hide the browser tab when you got in?
     
  10. Woodswoman

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    Whatever, I'll just get home late lol. You have to be wondering, what happened then? I just smiled and looked at her, like a knowing, mona lisa smile, ya know? We exchange a lot of those kinds of smiles and I love it. Anyway, she was definitely flustered for about a millisecond, then smoothly started telling me about seeing that singer in concert about 15 years ago. She was going on about who she went with, what it was like, the audience, etc. I didn't take much of it in, my thoughts going in a million directions and not knowing what I should do or say. Ugh if she wasn't married this would be so much easier! I just can NOT be the one to push things for that very reason. Once again, the conversation veered back into 'safer' topics. And once again, I was left feeling like I don't know what the hell is going on...

    I'm sorry I couldn't entertain you all with the kind of tale I'd like to be writing, but as always, I appreciate any insight or advice you may have. Fortunately, there are lots of positive things going on at EC right now! Yay for everyone making progress on your journeys!!
     
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  11. Woodswoman

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    Nope, she just let the song play as she was talking. She's pretty smooth like that haha...
     
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  12. dreamingfreely

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    I would say you busted her lol that song is such a clue that she is thinking about you. Some of the lyrics "I need you today oh M" . The only part that is worrisome to me is that it is a lament song and the lyrics "I sent you away" lol. You will have to keep us going with updates.
     
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  13. idsm

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    Whoo, she IS smooth.

    How come you didn't throw any sly comment about it? It would have been a perfect opportunity.
     
  14. Mabel

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    Very smooth, u r fucked :-/
     
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  15. Mabel

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    Orrrr maybe lucky, I’ll try to be positive...still jaded from the breakup...let’s go with lucky!
     
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  16. Butterflies85

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    Wow, this was so thrilling to read. I love the suspense, even though it was just because poor @Woodswoman can only get on here briefly. And we have suspense over on Junebug99's thread too... Whoo!

    I didn't know the song you were referring to but then looked it up and think it definitely is a sign she is thinking about you! I can't believe after you asked her to clear that line up that she didn't. My feeling is she soooo wants to, probably fantasizes about you guys having a future together all the time, but she is afraid for what it means for her family.

    I feel for you!!! I really hope she can give you some answers. I think even just to hear that she feels the same at the moment but is hesitant would be a move in the right direction.
     
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  17. Moonsparkle

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    Just caught up on this thread! So here's my take.

    Ok-so lets get to reality here. There are 92 Billion available songs to listen to on Youtube. And she chooses THAT one? Think about it, she needed to actually go to the search box, search the title...play it. Yeah yeah she went to the concert 15 years ago or whatever. And? She suddenly mid work day has a hankering to listen to this PARTICULAR song by the singer?

    I agree--she's busted! And if I had gotten busted in the same situation I would have reacted the same way. A bit flustered and then with an attempt at a lame cover-up with talking about random specifics of the concert 15 years ago. Who I went with. What the weather was like that night. How much the ticket cost and blah blah blah......I actually probably wouldnt have stopped the song either, so it could appear that 'here I am, sitting in my office just innocently and normally listening to any old song... :joy:

    There is SOMETHING there she is feeling. Time will tell what that is, but SOMETHING is there. I don't know that is too late to revisit and bring up this little concert for one she had going in her office :wink:.
     
  18. Woodswoman

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    Ugh I don't know!! You are right it would have been perfect! I think I was in shock.
     
  19. Woodswoman

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    Haha that's ok, I'm happy with 50/50 odds here.
     
  20. Woodswoman

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    @Butterflies85 I can't believe she didn't help me out either. In fact, after a couple of almost sleepless nights now, I'm certain she misunderstood what I was after. No fault of hers though! Omg I was so flustered it's amazing if she made sense of anything I said. I'm really really tempted to reach out to her today...

    @Moonsparkle your post made me laugh SO hard!! I will definitely not let her live down the 'little concert for one' once all the intensity settles down! :slight_smile:
     
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