hi I was reading on reddit certain comments about the distinction between proactive sexual desires vs sexual desires coming from stimuli. as a background, ive had a long relationship with a girl, but decided to do my "coming out" because Im more attracted to men sexually then women. Basically, proactive sexual desires are: "the sex we would lust after." It is a general lust that is not dependent on a specific person or situation for it to arise. An example would be which sex(es) we would picture when we feel horny and want to masturbate. Another example would if you were getting ready for a night on the town and feeling primed for sexual contact, which sex(es) would be your natural target for potential sex partners (assume you have no objection to sex with people you don't know: it's the desire that counts, not that you actually take someone home) ? That works very well in identifying the orientation of many men and some women (i.e. people who experience clear proactive desires) if your proactive sexual desires are pointed exclusively towards women--you conjure up thoughts of women to feed or enhance your stimulation, you experience lust for women only, that is the clinical definition of homosexuality (if your a women). This Proactive sexual desire is what made me realize that I am gay since when im alone, i practically can only acheive orgasm thinking about men. at the same time, I can acheive orgasms thinking about grils but it will be a much "harder" process to reach orgasm. im curious what people think about this thanks
It seems like common sense to me. It's like blowjobs, yeah? In truth, if you close your eyes, any mouth could do. Hell, a machine could do. It's a blow job, so (at least with your eyes closed) as long as it's wet and hot and doing all the right things, then you're going to get hard and get off. If you're gay and get off on having a BJ done by a woman, that doesn't mean you're not gay. It means it felt like a blow job and you like blowjobs. Now, if your eyes were open, chances are if you're gay and a woman's doing the job, it'll be more difficult to get off, or even impossible depending on how strongly you feel about the issue of it being a woman doing the deed. Chances are that because she's "fiddling with your willie" that you will still get at least semi-hard tho.
*Cracks the hell up* Fiddling with your willie? *Dies* I think I just fell in love with you all over again man That's almost as good as "skippy" *Grins wide as hell* Mine, man. ONLY mine
I think it's a good and valid point. I don't masturbate often, but when I do, I can get off to either gender's sexual fantasy. My main fantasy target is men though, and that's because my main attraction is men. I fantasize about women too, so I know I'm not straight. I am currently crushing on a woman whose name I don't even know. I just know her from short chit-chats, but never got round to asking her name. She's just such a sweet, caring person, I don't even know her sexuality but she comes across as butch. But I'm not making any assumptions. Still, she's so charming and easy on the eye that I can't help but smile when we get the chance to talk, even if it's just saying hi. Maybe next time I'll work up the courage to ask her name. Just seems a little bit too forward though, or maybe it's just my introversion acting up, lol.
