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circumcision and gender dysphoria

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by tomboyprettyboy, Nov 28, 2017.

  1. tomboyprettyboy

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    I got circumcised today due to a severe phimosis and I really dislike the new look of my penis. I hope after healing the skin will go back to cover the glans, I used to have a penis identical to the one of greek statues, and I thought that somehow that made me more androgynous (???), I don't know I'm regretting my decision to agree with the operation, in 20 years it never got infected and I bet someone never went under the knife and never got an infection in their whole life, is it just like a dysmorphophobia or is it gender dysphoria? I seriously regret this and I wold prefer to go back to the way it was even if it means having an "abnormal penis" or something like that.
    Not to mention now there is less skin for an eventual vaginoplasty but I've read that it doesn't change that much, however I'm considering since this penis seems to look horrible... or not in my gender expression (?) at least
    Did anyone who questioned their gender had a similar experience?
     
  2. AlexTheGrey

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    I'll start with the bad news: What parts of the foreskin were removed are gone, and unless they were very conservative about how much they removed, it will never cover the glans again. And I don't really have much I can say to really make it any better. Regret is fairly common, both in those who are circumcised, and in parents who have it done to their own children because they don't know any better. It sucks that a medical condition meant that it was recommended for treatment. You have my sympathy.

    And I'll be honest, the "look" is something that is subjective. Some people actually prefer the uncut look, while others prefer circumcised. Others don't have a preference. Both in what they have, or that their partners have. It's not unnatural that you would prefer one or the other. I don't personally have much preference either way, but I have reasons for not liking circumcision as a practice.

    I can also relate, as it was done to me as a baby. I have come to realize that my feelings towards circumcision and towards my genitals in general are different things.

    On one hand, I don't hate my genitals, but it does feel like I was dealt the wrong hand. "You thought that is what you'd be on the other side of puberty and embryo development? Haha, no! These hormones and controlling bits of DNA gave you this instead, including this middle finger as a consolation prize." It's more a reminder that I try to ignore more than anything.

    On the other hand, I do hate the circumcision that was performed. It was a violation of my body, and done for no other reason than because a doctor recommended it to my parents. No real medical basis for the procedure, just happened to be the socially acceptable thing. They agreed. I honestly cannot agree with the practice being done to anyone (male or female), except as a last resort for medical reasons.
     
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  3. tomboyprettyboy

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    it's actually a medical circumsion and the doctor guaranteed that they would try to preserve as most skin as possible, people have told that it's possible that it will cover the glans again once it's normally flabby again, but I do fear this will not happen and holy fuck I hate it.
     
  4. tomboyprettyboy

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    By the way, I found a solution, it's called foreskin restoration! I don't know anything about it since I just find about it, but it seems a lot of people did this
     
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  5. AlexTheGrey

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    Yeah, I've looked into it, but it's a giant case of "Your Mileage May Vary". Nerves are gone, and parts of the frenulum are gone. You can at least cover the glans, but it won't be the same, unfortunately. While Phimosis sucks, the opposite (inability to stay in place over the glans because of the missing parts of the frenulum) is also a real possibility for those who are circumcised looking to restore. And at least in my area, the last time I asked a doctor about it, their response was "I would have removed more"...

    So, my advice is: hope for the best, but be aware of what you might be in for. :frowning2:
     
  6. no reality

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    You should have posted about it earlier before the circumcision, you can stretch the opening to fix the phimosis very easily. But what's done is done and I feel bad for you, I was circumcised at birth and I hate it so much. I'm currently restoring my foreskin to make my body whole again and bring the sensation of my penis back. Since you got a loose cut you can restore too and recover the glans if you wish because it will still look similar to your original prepuce. Stay strong and do that you can to feel right.
     
  7. tomboyprettyboy

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    nope the urologist said it was a severe case and it couldn't be stretched even when soft, a lot of people are telling me that I'm really stupid for regretting it since "you could have got troubles and infections" but I don't care, I still have the same opinion, I mean, you can just wash it by dipping it in hot water and the dirt will surely go away trough the opening, and it didn't hurt me by any case, so there was totally no need for it. I do agree with you that I should have asked for advice here before instead of asking the wrong people.
     
  8. tomboyprettyboy

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    I don't know about the nerves but the doctor performed a plastic on the frenulum to extend it, I think nerves can regrow and regain sensibilty anyways since they are in the skin anyway, but I don't even care, not as much as I care about making it look normal again, and even if someday I'll decide to get a vaginoplasty I still need as much skin as possible, so restoring it's the only thing I can do now. "Your Mileage may vary"? does that mean it could somehow make my penis larger or just that the results of how much skin you can restore are not guaranteed? I read you can stretch it all the way you want, even too much, it only takes time, and, well, a bit of discomfort
     
  9. no reality

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    I've seen a guy with a really rare case of phimosis called pinhole phimosis, he never had any problems with his foreskin and he decided to stretch his skin and slowly but surely his opening went from literally almost pinhole size to big enough he could fully retract without problems.

    Also forgive me please because I have a hard time understanding this but you said you want to get a vaginoplasty but you also want your penis to look normal? I don't mean to offend you or your gender and I understand what you're going through is hard but I thought people transitioned because they aren't comfortable with their genitals? I do understand what you said about needing more skin for the vaginoplasty and you should have just told your urologist to screw off but I'd say start restoring and growing more skin out whenever your scar is fully healed.

    I definitely should put a post talking about my views on circumcision on this forum to help other people that are considering getting cut or feel damaged by circumcision like I do. People really need to stop being misinformed on this topic!
     
  10. tomboyprettyboy

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    I'm gender questioning, I've had gender identity issues since I was 12, as far as I can remember at least, so I'm not sure I'll get a vaginoplasty but it's an eventuality, well actually I'd prefer a vagina to the shape that the penis has right now, I wrote the original post bursting through tears late at night so I know it sounds confusing, it's just that I never really paid attention to my genitals that much until this happened and I exploded in "now I want a vagina, this thing is horrible" but I do know, as AlexTheGrey said, that the hate for the circumcised penis can be different from hating the penis itself
     
    #10 tomboyprettyboy, Dec 10, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2017
  11. no reality

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    Ok that makes more sense to me thank you. I share the same feeling as I've hated my penis for most of my life but when I found out that I was circumcised I found out that is why I hated my penis. I'm sorry that I've had so many questions it probably isn't easy for you to talk about this since you have a lot of pain and regret. The only thing you can do is keep moving forward and try to let go of your regret, maybe see a therapist if you think it will help, I'm guessing that since you're from Italy they don't do much routine circumcision there and a therapist would actually take you seriously unlike in america where they would just laugh you out of the room.
     
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  12. tomboyprettyboy

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    yup I've already talked about it to my therapist