I will try to keep this as short as possibly. I'm a girl, very soon to be 17 and bisexual. I have known for sure for about 3-4 years now and I'm out to basically all my friends and some more people. Lately, maybe the last 2 years, I am starting to feel more and more lonely because of this. Most people say that "sexuality shouldn't matter when it comes to friendships", but for me it totally does. I have about 8 friends that I consider to be close, and outside of that I really don't have any. All of my friends are straight. This means I have no one to understand the eventual struggles that my sexuality comes with this. Of course I can try to talk with them, but they won't understand. They will probably "brush it away". It's obvious that even if they support lgbt, they don't understand it. I notice that by the way they talk about LGBT and from stuff they've said. The award of the dumbest comment goes to one that said that the hetero-norm doesn't exist. (And now some of you might say "correct them if anything they say bothers you". And well, sometimes I do, but this isn't really the point of my post, I just wanted to give some examples). The fact that all my friends are straight and they basically are the only people I hang out with means that my chances to ever get a girlfriend (I prefer girls) are about 0%. This makes me so sad. Soon when we turn 18 we'll start to go to bars and clubs, which I guess is a potential place to meet someone, but I won't have anyone to go to any lgbt-themed bars with. Because again, all my friends are hetero. I also have a crush on one of these friends right now and I've had it for a very long time, and last week I felt so heartbroken and devastated by a thing she said and my friends all realized that I was feeling sad and offered talk, but no matter how much I wanted (and want) to talk about, I felt like I couldn't. Like, it won't be good for the friend-group. I know that. It will change everything. It's not that hard to figure out. I know this might sound like a real 1st world-problem, but nowadays it's starting to really bring be down. This didn't bother me when I was 13-14, because I knew that I had many years left until the adult-life and that I was even going to a new school where I eventually could meet lgbt-people, but now I'm almost an adult and almost nothing has changed. I just feel so lonely...
Have you thought about meeting LGBT people by joining and LGBT group of some sort? Have you also thought about giving more credit to your friends than you may currently give them? They are straight yes, and therefore probably aren't the most informed about LGBT issues and stigmas BUT they are your friends, they love you and I am sure they want to support you. Them being straight doesn't mean that they won't be willing to listen to your love problems or join you to a gay club. They may need a bit of an adaptation period and to be educated on some stuff but it doesn't mean they can't support you. One of my friend was very lesbophobic before I came out to her, when I finially did come out, she was shocked, awkward for a while and unsure about how to deal with it as she had no knowledge of the LGBT community. But she took the time to educate herself and is now extremely suportive, she still doesn't 'get it' the way a queer person would get it, but she tries and she is the first person to volunteer to go to gay events with me, no matter how unconfortable they could potentially make her because she is my friend and she loves me and so she tries. The same way I do for her with guys ( I also prefer girls). Sometimes friends don't need to understand it or get it to be supportive. If you don't confide in them or ask for support when you need it thought, it's unlikely that you will receive it. Do join LGBT places to make queer friends though. As I understand the need to have people who can relate.
I totally agree with the comment above. Try to talk to your friends, they might surprise you. I have a group of four guy friends and we are all like brothers. The four of them are straight as a straight guy can be, but every single time I've cried over a boy they've been there for me cheering me up and letting my vent and stuff. I also have a large amount of straight girl friends who are super supportive and understanding. Sometimes it just takes time for straight people to get you, but if you help them it's a 100 times easier. You could also try a dating app , specifying that you are looking for friends only of course, to meet people on your area. Just be really careful because there might be some creeps out there. Regarding you liking your friend and telling your group of friends I agree it's a tricky thing. Maybe tell the one that you have the most trust with. It all depends of how gossipy they are. You can also message me if you need to talk, I get being bi and a teen it's the most confusing thing in the world ( And at 22 still confuses me a lot tbh lol)
