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Gay- Aged 22- Worried I will never experience love while young

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Ryan5154, Nov 26, 2017.

  1. Ryan5154

    Regular Member

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    Good afternoon to everybody!

    I am a gay male from England, who is 22. I came out the closet when I was 18 years old, so we are talking nearly 4 years I have been out now.

    Throughout these 4 years I have been out for, I have been on dates, and always been open to meeting somebody nice and having a relationship. However the dates usually don't go anywhere (date 3 is my record sadly).

    There are various reasons that the dates don't go anywhere. It often starts off well and the spark is lost. Or it was just a brief sexual chemistry. Or he isnt interested, or I am not. etc etc etc

    However I am starting to get concerned that after 4 years of dating, I have never managed to actually meet anyone I feel a (mutual) romantic connection with. The rare occasion I do meet someone I really could see myself with, they just dont see me like that.

    I know I am still young and people will tell me I have plenty of time, but I feel my concerns are valid. Everyone around me is in a serious relationship and then theres me who cant even get past a few dates? Do I need to reconsider turn off points I have when dating potentially?

    Any advice in general?

    Thanks my lovelies.
     
  2. Baby K

    Baby K Guest

    You know throughout high school I was in the same boat as you and even really until I was 20 years of age. I went out on dates with girls and women and we had fun but the spark was just either not there for me or for her. I also feel back in high school I was not remotely mature enough for a relationship like that anyway. Then by just developing a friendship with my college basketball teammate first and it was nothing more than that at first that led into a loving relationship that I would have never imagined could happen. It really wasn't something I was pushing for or anything it was something that just happened and we took it day by day. I was 20 and she was 21 and we are now happily married since May 27, 2016 and just recently found out that after awhile of trying through artificial insemination that I am over 3 weeks pregnant. So my advice to you is focus on it so much go with the flow and just become friends at first with guys and take it from there. If it is meant to be then it will happen. There are many loving people out there and like I said on another thread those are the ones that you want to just befriend first and really get to know then let the chemistry happen. You don't have to start out with dating and a sexual relationship. Most of those relationships are based off of that and like you said most of them fizzle out shortly after they start. You want a relationship based on friendship first those are the ones that will last.
     
  3. Necrose

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    That is indeed an unfortunate possibility, however, at just 22, you're just getting started. Trust me. I was a little younger than you when I started dating, had some good dates that wound up going nowhere, but I kept trying until I met my last girlfriend. I don't like talking about that time because it's personal and I've been single since, but my point is just keep trying. Won't know if he's out there and looking for you, too, if you give up. However, I have advocated giving up in the past, use the time spent not dating to work on yourself and become happy doing the things you like to do. Doing that, you'll have hobbies and interests to discuss and share with and introduce to potential boyfriends, and hopefully, he'll be the same way and you'll have things in common.

    The advice you hear most commonly you hear most commonly because it's true. You do have plenty of time. You made it this far before being recognized as an adult, and with it, to be able to vote and drink alcohol, what's another few months to a few years before finding love? Some people don't find their one true love until they're my age or older.
     
  4. PJ94

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    I started dating boys around two years ago when I was 20 (I had like three girlfriends before that, but nothing too serious) and I'm kind of on the same situation. Also girls won't date me now because of me being bi, they rather see me as their friend or we only get to fool around because they think that if we get together I'll cheat on them with a boy or something. And with guys I haven't had any luck either. I'll have to admit, I don't get attached to people really often so I might be part of the issue hehehe. I think it's just a trail and error type of thing, recently I fooled around with one of my close friends who I fell for who is straight and it only ended up on he don't talking to me and me super hurt. Although I was (and still am a bit tbh) heartbroken after that, I think that it only helped me to see that I want to date someone who wants to be with me and who I connect with romantically. So what I'm trying to say is that you should use all those bad experiences and all those disappointments as encouragement to go and look for your great love who is undoubtedly somewhere out there. Best of luck :slight_smile: