Hi I'm a lesbian I've been in a relationship for almost 8 years. The one I've been with has never been with females and said she will never be with ay other female after me. Cheating has happened a couple times with guys only, our recent break up was over a year ago, she was cheating with a guy and decided to leave the relationship. I hit her up to hang out a couple times and during that time she stated she was pregnant. She wasn't sure who the father was as she slept with 2 guys, none of them wanted anything to do with her or the baby, one went as far enough to say he would take her to the abortion clinic. I decided to stick around and help her and take responsibility for the baby. Everything was good, he's my world. My family and all my friend accept his as he is mine. Our relationship hasn't been the best we've basically been living as roommates. I finally decided to end it a month ago. Things were bad but she decided to be cordial finally(we live together) now all of a sudden last week she tells me she did ancestry to see his health(which is a lie) the first guy is her ex from back in the day and the other a coworker. She told me it wasn't her coworkers it was the guy she used to be with. All of a sudden she says she owes it to the baby for him to know who his father is. Mind you if it's the coworkers then he doesn't need to know. She asked me how I felt if he wanted to see him etc, of course I was upset because I'm his other mom and he's my world. I think she's already talking to her ex, he's African American and she baby does not look the least bit mixed. She says she's 90% sure it's his. She says this won't change anything but of course it will. I have no problem dealing with this when he's older and when he's curious. He's fine right now I get him everything he needs and wants and my family loves him extremely. So here I am, totally heartbroken and lost.
That's an unhealthy relationship. You are sticking around for someone that doesn't even care about you that much. I suggest yo see a specialist like a shrink you know? You need some professional help and you need it soon. You are heartbroken and confused. You have to seek help, the good kind of help.
Hey welcome to EC. I'm sorry you have having such a hard time, you obviously love this girl a lot but unfortunately she doesn't return that. I think you need to distance yourself from the girl, if you still want to be part of the child's life then that's fine I recommend getting some kind of agreement drawn up. The girl is using you like a doormat and you deserve so much better. Hugs.
Thanks for the responses, I️ should have clarified I’m no longer interested in being with her, I️ tried being cordial to help her and be there as a friend but one day she’s okay and then the next it’s a big fight. Lease is over in January and we already made plans to go our separate ways, she needs the help so I️ would be taking the baby every other weeekend while she works. I️ looked up the agreements and I️ found it doesn’t stick in court
I don't know whether it would be an option but would she let you adopt him? I don't know what the rules are over ther or whether it would be possible if you are not together. My concern is that when she gets together with some other guy she will take him away from you, but I totally get that you don't want to lose him. I hope it doesn't happen. I'm sorry you are in such a tough situation.
we tried that when we were together and all was good but you would have to marry the person in order to adopt, and thank God I did not do that but it leaves me here with no type of say on anything.
Yeah I thought that might be the case. It such a horrible situation for you but I just want to say that you are a really wonderful person for wanting to help her so much and for wanting to stick by the child, there can never be too much of that in the world and moving forward I hope you find someone that can offer you what you offer yourself.
so an update she switched up on me and didn't let me get him on my weekend cuz his "dad" was there. So as much as I'm hurting not seeing him I'm distancing myself for right now, not from him but from her. I know I can see him if I keep asking her, I told her I was done and she got scared and kept calling/texting me if I wanted him sunday I could get him. I've been ignoring her. It's not supposed to be on her terms/time only. I'll see him one day but I can't keep putting myself in that situation where his "dad" is there. Hurts like hell though I'll tell you that much.
