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Straight people... they a'right

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by OGS, Nov 24, 2017.

  1. OGS

    OGS
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    So my husband and I spent last week in Disney World. It was awesome to get to spend a whole week together and I'm a little embarrassed how much I loved Disney World (I'd never been before). We had initially intended to go in October for our second wedding anniversary but life intervened and the trip was bumped to November. We decided we would still use it to celebrate our anniversary.

    So there's this thing at Disney World where people wear buttons about what they're celebrating: birthdays, anniversaries, first visit etc. I didn't know about this. So when we check into our hotel there at Epcot they ask us if we're celebrating anything and we respond that we're celebrating our anniversary. She produces these buttons, about two or three inches in diameter, that say Happy Anniversary and a sharpie. She asks how long we've been together and I respond twenty years. My husband adds that we've only been married for two so she asks whether she should write two years or twenty. When we aren't really sure she declares that she thinks we should put twenty. We agree and are each handed a button that says "Happy Anniversary" and then has Twenty Years! written on it complete with a little Mickey head as the dot on the exclamation point.

    As we walked up to our room my husband immediately put his button on and I asked "are we going to wear them the whole time?" I don't think he really picked up on my reticence as his response was simple "how else are people going to give us free cake?" For him it really was simple. The more people who know we are celebrating the more people who can help us celebrate by doing cool things for us, period.

    I was a little surprised that my reaction was a little more complicated. I don't really encounter much blatant homophobia in my day-to-day life. I've been out for twenty five years and don't really think I self-censor much if at all. On the other hand I don't particularly come off as gay to straight people--they tend to be surprised but take it in stride. My husband and I are pretty affectionate in public but nothing over the top and I tend to think that if people really wanted to be willfully ignorant they could just assume we were brothers... or European. The buttons seemed to up the ante on that and I was surprised that I wasn't sure how I felt about everyone at Disney World, this bastion of middle American family life, knowing I was gay because it was basically emblazoned across my chest. Apparently although it was a quiet voice and a voice I only listened to for about thirty seconds there was still a voice down there telling me that if I told them enough about my perfectly upstanding life random people would be mean to me at the "happiest place on earth". But I do really like free cake...

    So we wore the buttons, all week long. And in case someone didn't notice we bought and wore matching Disney shirts one day. And people were AWESOME!! Of course the employees were great about it. That I sort of expected. Everyone wished us a happy anniversary everywhere we went and many seemed genuinely shocked and impressed at the number. The phrase "life goal' was thrown around a couple times. The photographers would ask us to do a kiss shot in front of the castle, Christmas tree, tree of life, etc. And there was free cake--on several occasions. Several of the characters were particularly effusive about the whole thing, some so much so that I'm pretty sure they were "family friends." Goofy in particularly was clearly a big ol' queen and Anna from Frozen made a joke that was just off color enough from a Disney princess that we both blushed and are still giggling a bit.

    I kind of expected that. I mean it's what the buttons are actually for after all. But what I didn't expect was the other guests. All week long people were so movingly pleased about the whole thing. So many people struck up conversations about it and asked what our secret was, offered to take our pictures. We had someone send over champagne. A couple we never actually even met picked up our bar tab at Animal Kingdom. People were just... amazing. And I'm so glad I got the chance to experience all that in this place that I wasn't really sure about.

    My husband is a wise man. If we don't put it all out there how are people going to give us free cake?
     
  2. greatwhale

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    You are so absolutely right, and your experience is similar to my relationship with my partner.

    I am philosophically and intellectually all about being open about my sexuality...and yet...that still small voice of reticence abides within us both.

    Whether we like it or not; whether we have accepted that burden or not, we represent our community and if we behave as if our relationship is meant to be kept discreet and hidden, that is, if everyone may or may not know about my partner and i, and we behave as if we had to hide, people will continue to perceive being gay as odd and "abnormal".

    In public, we ought to be as affectionate with our partners as straight people are with theirs, full stop. It is uncomfortable to be sure (especially us of the "older" set), and there may even be some risk of unpleasantness in certain situations, but we often exaggerate in our minds what could become negative, and too often minimize what could indeed become positive, as has been your experience at Disney World!

    Time to gird up our loins and be ourselves openly! The more of us do it, the better it will be for all of us, collectively...it's a burden all of us have to bear...until one happy day, when at last it won't feel like a burden at all!
     
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  3. Moonsparkle

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    Love your husbands simple response, 'how else do we get the free cake?' I probably would have been overthinking the button wearing too! Lol! But really, who doesn't want free cake :cake::slight_smile:!

    I am glad you had such a good experience there, not just from the staff but from fellow guests too. I've worn a birthday button while there, and yup got free cake...but never had a random couple at Animal Kingdom pay my bar tab! Wow. Very cool.

    Glad you found your first visit there to be such a positive experience. As a side note, Disney is known to be a very 'gay friendly' company. There are actually 'Gay Days' every year at Disneyworld (for one week at the beginning of summer.) Not sure if it started as an actual Disney thing, or just started, but at any rate it is a thing now.

    Hope you enjoyed Splash Mountain and Tower of Terror! Happy Anniversary!
     
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  4. Baby K

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    I and my wife live very close to Walt Disney World and even though we don't get there as often as we should she have experienced the same thing you and your husband have from not only the castmembers there but also the other guests. It is simply a Magical Place to spend an Anniversary or really any occasion. I am glad you had a wonderful experience and most importantly a wonderful Anniversary.
     
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  5. Cinnamon Bunny

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    Thank you for sharing your experience :grin: I already love Disney World, but it's nice to know if I ever went with a girlfriend/partner there would be no issue :slight_smile:
     
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  6. baristajedi

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    Just came here to say congratulations @OGS!! And this is such a wonderful and encouraging experience, thanks for sharing!

    I know that I'm still working through my own discomfort about certain things, and it helps to read about your feelings s dvyour experience
     
    #6 baristajedi, Nov 27, 2017
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2017
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  7. Soundofmusic

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    I LOVE THIS SO SO SO MUCH and I'm glad you got ot have that experience. What a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing!
     
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