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Um, confused?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by LADEIAQ, Nov 23, 2017.

  1. LADEIAQ

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    I recently came out as bi, I guess.

    I have always felt attracted towards women,
    I recently started feeling attracted to a guy,
    we made out.
    I made out with another guy.
    I got interested in one of them, and my interest in making out or dating girls has decreased.
    I wouldn´t just make out with any guy, or date any guy.
    I just want him.
    However, I dont want to have sex with a guy, any guy, because that idea freaks me out and not in a good way.
    I want to kiss him and be with him, you could say I have a crush. (however, As i said, no sex, no third base etiher) And I still kind of like women, but not as much.

    What am I? Not straight for sure... But am I gay? Am I maybe still bisexual but going through a boy-period? Im not sure. welp.
     
    #1 LADEIAQ, Nov 23, 2017
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2017
  2. jam93

    Regular Member

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    Honestly, your the only obe who can decide what your sexuality is. No one, not here or anywhere else, can tell you what your sexuality is. You're the only person who can feel your fealings, so you're the only one who can really make that call. That doesn't mean we can't give you advice, or tell you what we think, but in the end your the one who has to figure you out.
    That being said, you do sound bi to me. you seem to be attracted to both men and women in some capacity, and that's the only requirement to be bi. You don't have to be equally attracted to both. A lot of bisexualy people swing more one way than the other. You also don't have to be sexually and romantically attracted to both. For exanmpe you could be sexually and romantically attracted to women, but only romantically to men (this is how I am interpreting what your duscribing, I may be wrong), and still be bi.
    It's also pretty common for bi people to experience shifts in thier attractions over time. Sometime's we're more into guys, sometimes girls. It can be kind of annoying honestly, since it can make it hard to nail down how you really feal about each. The reason I say this is that if you are bi, then it is likely your going through a "boy period," likely due to having a crush on a guy. That could be why you aren't so into girls right now. I deffinately notice that when I'm in guy mode I notice girls less, and vice versa.
    Like I said though, these are just my opinions based on what you wrote. If your still trying to figure this out, it might help to sit back and run some thought experaments. While your doing this, try to focus on your feelings, not what the mean. For example, don't think about weather your feelings make you gay or bi, just consider weather the scenarios your considering feel right or not. Here are some suggestions for things you could consider: do you find women physicslly attractive? How about me? Do you like the idea of being intimate (kissing, hugging, cuddling, making out, sex) with a women? How about men? Do you like the idea of having a girlfriend? How about a boyfriend? When you think of the future, who do you see yourself with? A woman? A man? Can you see yourself with both? These are just some of the things you can consider, I'm sure you can come up with more. You also don't need to post the answers to them here, they are for you to consider. Hopefully, if you give these some thought they might help you get a better idea of what your sexuality really is. I wish you luck.
     
  3. Che

    Che
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    If you have only been attracted to women until now and you are only attracted to this one man, not wanting any other men, then it doesn't mean you aren't straight. Sexuality is a funny thing, it's not so clear cut and it can change throughout our life. What feels right for you? What label feels right? Go with that.

    As for your attraction to women decreasing with your attraction to this man - are you monogamous? If you are, then it would be logical your attraction to other people would drop when you are feeling attracted to one person to the point of wanting to be with them in the way you describe.
     
  4. LADEIAQ

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    Yes I am monogamous. These replies really.cleared things up, thanks!