Dating..?

Maybe you need a cuddlist.

 

You know, I've been thinking too about why there isn't that category of relationship? Maybe people think of it as just a way station on the way to sex and/or love. Read the news lately and you would think that no man could "tread water" like that, he would have to zoom all in. I did have a few sleep/snuggle relationships in the past, but then I started to get too serious. And when you're too serious.. well I guess I just embodied my second sentence above. Hmm, maybe I could be a cuddlist!

 

Hi Cinnamon,
You know, I feel exactly the same way, and I did many months ago when I met someone and really only wanted friendship but somehow, it turned into a relationship because our feelings changed, and I think we both craved a higher level of physical and emotional intimacy. We broke up about 2.5 months ago, and I swear, I'm sitting here thinking "wait, I didn't even think I was ready for a relationship...how did all that even happen?" Like you, I really do feel I only want good friends and a strong LGBTQ community around me right now, but the thing about life is, things happen unexpectedly. So, what's the solution? I say, just go about your life, meet friends, have fun, and don't think about having or not having a relationship. There are plenty of places, meetups, community centers, etc. where you can meet friends. Yes, cuddling with someone is nice too...and sometimes a friendship becomes more. If it does, and if that makes you happy at that time, just go with the flow. Happiness can be found in so many ways. I wish that for all of us. ♥

 

Maybe you should give dating a go, with the right person who knows what you might be ready for.

 

I think some of us find it almost impossible to keep things light and carefree. I know I fall into that category. My intention was to go on a few dates and feel good. I have ended up falling for her...

 

Can anyone keep things light if they actually like someone?

Is falling for her such a bad thing?

 

But you fell for your best friend without actively trying so that was probably going to happen anyway. It sucks she wasn't ready for anything but like you say she wasn't the right person.

 

What makes you feel that you are totally screwed if you are "bi". My online dating profile stated this, along with the facts about having kids and being separated... amazingly, some people still contacted me - and I ended up going for someone in the same situation....we both felt less daunted by each other as late in lifers, and also felt we could relate to each others' situations. I think honesty is key...those who can't accept you as you are....well screw 'em (metaphorically speaking of course!).

 

Although I'm sure you're not attracted to just anyone.......Being bi doesn't mean fancying everyone, anymore than being gay means fancying all your friends. I think that society oversexualises lgbt people. We're no more sexual than heterosexual people and just want to love and be appreciated back, like anyone, both sexual love and friendship love too.

That being said do you think that for you personally attraction is frequently rooted in and begins with emotional connection and that THAT very often triggers the physical attraction???

 

I keep coming back to this topic and agreeing with it all over again. If people could trust each other with boundaries (a big if!) then cuddle-relationships would fill a need. I mean, I can't cuddle myself, but I can, um, well you know.

And then I also think that snuggling with Cinnamon Bunny could be a pretty sticky affair. Even for an octopus...

 

It's very true. Cuddles are the best.

 

That has got to set a record for clever replies. LOL (several times!). As Homer Simpson said (about the Krispy Kreme commercial) "It works on so many levels."

 

@Cinnamon Bunny I liked your original post and I think it is important to meet and develop a friendship first while casually dating before getting involved in the more heavier things. Cuddling on the couch while watching a movie as a date would be a wonderful idea. I think these sort of dates and developing of friendship is what leads to a more meaningful relationship for the long run. I hope you can find what you are looking for.