Just a teenager that needs advice

Sorry for the boring title, I'm not a very creative person.

So seeing as this is my first post, maybe last, I don't know yet, I might as well introduce myself. I'm a 14 year old (turning 15 in a few weeks) guy who lives in the Deep South. Growing up in Middle Tennessee, in a conservative, religious family, the concept of being gay never occurred to me. I always was taught that it was just men and women. So as I entered middle school, had the talk, and other kids started joking about it, I learned what gay meant. I was only 11 or so, so I didn't understand it. I would join in with my friends, joking about gay people and the usual stuff middle schoolers do. As 8th grade started, I noticed everybody else dating and stuff, and there I was, all alone. So I asked myself why I'd never thought to look for a girlfriend. No good answer came to my head, except I noticed that I just didn't feel attracted. I guess I just figured that it would happen later. I kept waiting and it never happened. Fast forward to the second semester and I started noticing myself being attracted to other guys. But my whole life I'd been taught that that is wrong. People like that burn in hell. So I tried to mask it up, and I denied to myself that it was happening. Over the Summer, going into High School, I came to the conclusion that I'm clearly gay. But I'm still 100% in the closet, and this is my first time acknowledging to any other person that I'm gay, and I'm not gonna lie that it makes me nervous. So my question, which is probably a very often asked one, is how to come out to my friends and family.
So I'll start with my family. Like I already said, my family is very religious and conservative. My mom always talks down about gay people, even though she claims she's not biased. I used to agree with her, but as of lately, I've just sat in silence when she makes remarks about gay people. She doesn't outright say "I hate gays" but it's the smaller things, like when she sees a gay actor on a tv show and says "Why does he/she have to be gay?" My dad is not like that as much, but still has his moments. My whole life I've attended church. I stopped this year because I realized I don't feel happy or accepted there. And they say that gay people go to hell. My church doesn't say that outright just because of the whole LGBT rights movement. They don't want to comment off as prejudice. But it says it in the Bible that homosexuality is a sin
And while I do believe in god, I don't believe that god would make his children like that if he wished for them to burn in hell. So while I believe in god, I can't consider myself a Christian. So other problems come in with the whole "children" part. I am the only male in my generation with my last name. So it is my "responsibility" to have children and continue our last name. According to my cousins, at least. Now I know that that's total bull crap, but I still am concerned about that. On top of that, my mom always talks about having grandkids and how it'll be great when I 100% do have them. I know there's always adoption, but I just feel like it would t be the same. So I don't know how I come out to my religious family because I feel like they'll be disappointed. Almost like it's my responsibility to be straight, and i know it's not. But I love my parents and it would take all the happiness out of me to see them disappointed in me.
On the other hand there's school. So I know that being gay has a lot of stereotypes. But I feel like I don't fit any of them. I don't have a high pitched voice, I hate Starbucks, I don't wear makeup, I play sports (Drumline/Cross Country) and I'm conservative and somewhat religious. So my peers would never guess that I'm gay. Aside from the fact that I've never dated anyone. But it's a situation similar to what I have with my parents. It's high school. Gay people get bullied, harassed and made fun of my straight people. I would know because my friends do it. And I feel guilty of not standing up for them. But it's like a hierarchy of popularity, and gay people tend to be close to the bottom, and I don't know how I feel about that. It's cruel when I really stop and put it into perspective. I don't get why people can't just respect each other for who they are. Even if I was to come out which I hope to do by the end of high school, I don't know how I would. Do I walk in the school in a rainbow shirt and a banner saying I'm gay, or do I just wait till college? I seriously don't know. The other day in my health class, people were asking "Is it a choice to be gay?" obviously trying to be funny. The gym coach responded calling homosexuality a mental disorder. I highly doubt that, but even if it is, that doesn't change the fact that it's a real thing, even though some people might refuse to believe it exists.
I know I was kind of everywhere with what I had to say, but any advice would helpful.. Maybe answer some of the many questions I had in that essay I just wrote.. or it could be something else. Like drumline, I always like to talk about that. Whatever. If anyone actually took the time to read all that, thanks. I appreciate it.

 

Thanks for the support, guys. I noticed you mentioned to hide this stuff; my parents don't usually check my iPad, which is what I wrote this on late last night because I couldn't stop thinking about it. And I usually go incognito anyway, so I think I'm good there.
I'll make sure to come here when I have any questions, because I still have a lot.
Happy Thanksgiving by the way!