It is really surreal and bizarre to think that this time last year, I was not aware of my sexuality. Nothing felt right in my personal life, and hadn't for a very long time. I had no answers to why I felt like a person cut up into many puzzle pieces...like an empty shell of sorts. And then, just 9 months ago, the realization of my lesbian-ness dawned on me. It wasn't a gradual process, but rather sudden and seemingly out of nowhere (so sudden in fact that I went to a therapist for fear that I had lost my mind, lol). Then came the flood of emotions...elation, sadness, anxiety...but all the while, I realized the puzzle pieces suddenly fit, like former cracks in a veneer that had healed. This healing went far beyond sexuality...it made me feel like a whole human being for the first time in my life. The positive repercussions of how I feel in my own skin have been infinite. What was most remarkable to me was that the few people I have come out to...well, they weren't surprised! Apparently I was the last one to know I was a lesbian. Anyway dear friends, with Thanksgiving around the corner in America, I wanted to say I'm most thankful for this incredible year of 2017. I found myself during this year, not to mention all of you awesome, loving, intelligent, fascinating friends on EC. I'm eternally thankful for you as well. What are you all thankful for as you reflect on the past year? ❤️❤️❤️
Wow, Wow, Wow! That was a beautifully written post and one I am sure we can all relate to. Acceptance has been the most enjoyable, frightening yet 'whole' experience I have ever had. Thank you for starting this thread! I am an Aussie gal, and we don't celebrate thanksgiving, but there is never a bad time to feel gratitude. I have got to say I am thankful for all the beautiful, inspiring, strong people I have found on here as well. Being on here has healed me so much. And I am grateful to the universe. I feel supported by an energy I am yet to name but I feel the daily guidance and signs. I came out to my mum and sisters this year and all said they 100% support me so yep 2017 has been pretty great!!
I am grateful to have experienced love and desire for a woman and to have actually had my feelings reciprocated. It was unexpected. I am grateful for having had the chance to be me completely - even if I am still ambivalent about expressing this part of myself. I am grateful that for now the woman I'm in love with and I are sharing what has otherwise been a rather lonely journey, even if we are not local to each other. I am grateful for today - it is too frightening to speculate about the future. I am grateful for my health and for two healthy children.
So beautiful! So much to be thankful for! I remember last thanksgiving. Being at my aunts wishing my gf was with us....being so confused (am I gay or bi ???). It has been a journey but I have gotten so much further. Now I know I’m gay, my husband knows one of my daughters knows and some family. We have a plan to move forward no matter how archaic it may seem. I am sad for the loss of my marriage and sad for the loss of my girlfriend. It’s bittersweet though because they are both still very much in my life as friends, and I have more energy to focus on my kids now. It’s amazing how much energy pushing down the truth of your sexuality, and having a secret relationship can take out of you. Now I can just move forward and with every step just be me....
@Rana your post aligns so closely with my story and I too am thankful for finally finding the courage and strength to move forward in my life. No EC related, I am also incredibly thankful for another year with my family. Though we are several hours apart, the memories they have created in my life are something I will always be grateful for. Safe travels and Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends. And to all other EC friends, we will just make in an unofficial Happy EC Thanksgiving!
2017 did not start all that great for me. A lot of struggling and internal confusion. But the past few weeks has been a rather different time. Finding out a little bit of who I am and what kind of person I am has been interesting. It has taken a lifetime to get to this point. It has been said " It isn't how you start, but how you finish that counts." So, I guess I'm finishing 2017 on a kind of up-swing. Thankful for the personal growth, even when there were, and are, times of not wanting to deal with stuff. Hope you have a good holiday. And a good day for those outside the U.S.
Hi Butterflies, Wow, that's great that you've come out to family. I have yet to conquer that. So far I'm out to a handful of people, but none of them are family. I share your feelings about being grateful to the universe, and the feeling of being supported by some energy. It's amazing isn't it.
Hi Peterpangirl, How lovely that you have this great experience with someone you care about. I wish this for all of us. ♥
Hi Mabel, I can certainly relate to the loss of a girlfriend. I remember reading and responding to your posts early on when you had broken up. I believe it was near the time I broke up as well (or just after it). It has been difficult, and yet, I think time shows us how we can survive even when the pain of everything still exists to some extent. I'm happy that you have found the strength to more forward. Step by step...that's how I've been holding on the last few months.
Hi NeonSocks, Finding the courage to move forward is the most important thing we are all faced with. I'm glad my story resonated with you. I'm all for the unofficial Happy EC Thanksgiving!
Hello butterfly, I definitely can relate to the struggle and internal confusion I dealt with earlier this year, so 2017 didn't start out easy for me either. Like you, I have also found myself as the year went on. I agree 100% that it "isn't how you start, but how you finish that counts." Bravo!!!
Thank you, Rana. We (those who share here at EC) can look forward to the coming year. And hope is for each of us to have forward progress on our individual paths. No matter how small or big the steps are. I wrote this and then realized that your picture has the word "hope" in it. lol.
Very cool post Rana! I agree, so thankful being able to meet all of the wonderful people here. And to think I was almost 'too scared' to join at all! I have learned so much from everyone, lots more than I could have from reading any self help book, lol! Particularly helpful has been sharing with other folks who also went through breakups this year-it's been so helpful to know I am not alone in any of the feelings I have had through this process. (No matter how wacky my feelings sometimes felt to me!). Thankful for the fact that if nothing else I am at least in a better place emotionally with it all that I was earlier this year... So on Thanksgiving there was for sure a shout out to my EC pals, who have been so supportive, made me think, and made me laugh!
