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I am meeting an older guy. but I think I should stop?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by zeecoop, Nov 21, 2017.

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  1. zeecoop

    zeecoop
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    Ive spoken to an older guy (40s) on ######. I am in my early 20s. He was really great to talk to and to be around someone who is gay because I'm not met many gay people and I'm not out. I met him down my road and we went for a walk. We chat for at least an hour then we went to his for drinks. He said he'll walk me home but I wanted to go his for a few drinks.

    Eventually I asked him to see him naked and he showed me. I tried giving oral but I couldn't work out how to do properly. I wasn't getting into it. So he did it to me and I struggled to stay erect. I wasn't feeling that horny but I was feeling curious so that's why I kept trying to get to a situation where we both are naked. he went to toilet and said "you could help me" and I asked him i could see his penis. he showed me and thats when i tried oral on him. But when i laid in his bed having him suck me, I felt like "okay, now I'm in this, I cant get out until its over". I didn't finish and instead we left it and said we'd finish it anotr time.

    The problem is I feel like he is saying everything I want to hear. When he was first messages me he sounded so horny. Once I made it clear I'm more interested in chatting/mates, he started to change his tone. He keeps saying things that I think are responses to worries/concerns Ive given to him. And he is trying to comfort me. Like today I have a message "your a great guy, with so much to offer" but last night I was making jokes how I can't "give it all away at once" (referring to sex) and generally I was saying how I feel like a boring person and depressive etc.

    Also I am going through other stuff right now in life. I lost my job. I am quitting weed. I have no actual friends.

    I just feel scared about everything. And I don't think I'm attracted to this guy but I know he wants more out of it. I feel bad.

    anyone able to relate and give advice?
     
    #1 zeecoop, Nov 21, 2017
  2. Euler

    Euler
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    Hi,

    You don't sound too good and neither does your situation. I have a few concerns here:

    1) It seems like you want to relate to someone and he is interested in sex. And you proceeded to that just to please him.
    2) You have a huge age difference which puts you two into entirely different phases of life.
    3) You are going through other stuff in your life and I think you might benefit by dealing with that first.
    4) You yourself say that you feel like you should stop.

    My advice is, stop and take a step back. Don't put yourself into uncomfortable situations and if you find yourself in one, just leave.
     
    #2 Euler, Nov 21, 2017
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2017
    Mowgli likes this.
  3. Biguy45

    Biguy45
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    It sounds like he is just working you. If all he is interested in is sex, and you aren’t prepared for that, I would definitely back off. He might just tell you whatever you want to hear to get to you
     
    #3 Biguy45, Nov 21, 2017
  4. Sundara

    Sundara
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    I think you just trial and error for this meeting. Just enjoy find what the challenges meeting with a guy, older one or same age with you.

    If you were not enjoy sex with him, it means that you didn’t attract to him. Try to find what kind of guy you attracted to....also determine age range you are attracted to younger or older?

    When you are getting old you will know what you need. Age of 20s is still early, believe me that you will know what to do by experiences.
    What is your goal for this moment? Sex, relationships? And think about chemistry. If you looking for sex you should find someone from his sex appeal. If you attract to him so that he might your partner for sex. If you are looking for relationship you should consider chemistry of sex appeal, attitude or all the things in him which attracts you.

    Good luck
     
    #4 Sundara, Nov 21, 2017
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2017
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