Hey! So we met a little over two years ago. We both jumped into our friendship full speed and connected immediately. We were both in really rotten places and were even more vulnerable/supportive of each other. I literally realized one day, a few months into our friendship, that I was in love with them. They showed a great deal of signs of interest as well, but I did my best to not give in since I felt we were both not emotionally capable of a relationship and I didn't want to ruin the friendship. We still blurred some lines along the way and it led to a huge falling out (them expressing they felt they loved me and I wasn't being clear on how I felt BUT they also were unclear about what they wanted to do with all their feelings for me - next steps, etc since they "didn't want to be held down"). Because of pride and fear, I told them I didn't want to be with them and that they should just do whatever and shortly after we parted ways, they were in a relationship. About 4 months into their relationship, we crossed paths and they were clear that they still loved me and wasn't sure about their new gf. I was very defensive and also didn't want to be a part of what I assumed would be drama. Told them I couldn't be friends because I was sorting out my life finally and didn't want to go backwards. Told them I missed them, but they needed to sort themselves out. Months go by again and we chat a bit via text and have an argument again about loving each other and not being together and who said this and who didn't say that.... We stop speaking again and now they've gotten their life in some sort of order and reached out to me again. We talked like nothing changed and they're happy and madly in love with the same gf while also missing me and our friendship and all these things... I have literally thought about this person everyday since I've met them and I love them very deeply and dearly. I know how much they love me, but honestly, seeing them be with someone else is KILLING ME. I sort of hate that they're happy and I'm trying to convince myself that all that means I don't really love them because when you love someone, you want them happy, yeah? I'm rambling but I don't quite know what to do. They want me in their life, but I don't think I can do it, but I miss them so much and I don't know how to cut them off without telling them why... and I don't want to tell them I'm in love with them still after all this time because I don't want to hurt them or influence their decisions or whatever else.... any thoughts if you got through all of it lol and we're both 20somethings despite the melodrama (or maybe that's reason enough)
Just out of speculation, I would say that this can go one of two ways, and the ending will be nearly the same either way. #1. You could talk/express your feelings, and possibly enter into a relationship, the outcome however may not be what you expect, but then again it may be. Don't know until you try. #2. If you're not planning on attempting to have a relationship, it's maybe best to just move on and get over it. And by this I mean cutting all contacts with this person and avoiding them. There's no point in constantly putting yourself and your feelings in this situation if it's going no where and you're getting no positive outcome. Either way you go it could end with not having this person in your life or it may work out for you, that's just my opinion, honestly I'd have to know more of your situation. Because I've actually seen multiple females purposefully find "someone" and then intentionally initiate contact with their previous "love" just to get a reaction, and just to be honest, the ones who pursued them never had a happy outcome. But like I said, I'd have to know more of the situation. Hope all goes well for you though!
The situation is that they are with their gf. I'm leaning towards the latter of cutting ties, but they want me in their life. I guess i don't know if I should tell them how I feel to respectfully bow out or if I should essentially "ghost" them by ignoring them
