first of all, i have to say that i dont dislike too much my male body, i mean, im pretty sure there are a lot of things that scape from my concept of aesthetics and that i might want to change but i dont feel a rejection, for example, to my penis just because its a penis, maybe id like to have it bigger or sth like that but i think its a matter of external agressive beauty/masculinity ideals. second, i have a costant attraction or desire to the female body, sometimes i feel i would like to be a woman and i can notice a preference that i have for being one, rather than staying the same. I dont know if its just a fantasy that I shouldnt repress and express it sexually (because i masturbate sometimes thinking Im a woman and explote in a loud orgasm and sometimes im the one who is dominating another woman, my straight side is covered by lots of experiences with woman but my gay side is still sleeping, im virgin) with some customs maybe and a lot of imagination or maybe i have a type of gender dysphoria that doesnt cause clonflict with the current sexual parts but I have it anyway. You see, i have anxiety and I have lots a problems in my personal life that might cause it and maybe my gender confusion is also a source. hope you can excuse my poor english, im peruvian, if you can watch this post and can give me your point of view i will be so thankful.
I want to start by saying that you have no need to apologize for your english, it is better than most americans that I know. On to your issues. While I am not the best at providing advice or insight into others, I think it woupd help others help you if you elaborated more on your feelings.
Okay I understand. I am hetero 'birth certificate ' M in gender but 'diagnosed Genderfluid by my counsellor. That is confusing. !! And nice and like you I love the female and look I wld like to dress. Like in a dress and I don't. But wear some makeup. Hope this helps & I do relate. It's complicated. :S
Luis- It is okay to wonder about and question your identity. There are a lot of people in these forums who do. Take the time to search for your true self. Ask not only yourself but also others here. We all here understand the ups and downs of the search. Just a thought for you- Do you have the opportunity to crossdress? This might be a way to find out about that part of you. A way to explore what kind of person you might be. Even if you think it has to be done in private, it might be a step towards your discovery of finding the true you. If crossdressing is not a possiblity, there are other ways to finding yourself. These forums could be a help. Enjoy your search.
