I regret coming out! I came out to my parents exactly a year ago to this month (November 27, 2016). Then i came out publicly on Facebook this year back in July. I feel like people treat me differently. I hate it. I got into nursing school this year, and two of my “friends” that i met in pre-reqs also got into the same school as me; ones a guy and another is a girl. Ever since coming out online, they have been treating me completely different. Like i was expecting to come into nursing School with a study group, but that turned into nothing. Like they completely ignore me most of the time, unless i engage in a conversation. They even tag each other in memes on Facebook and I’m ignored. I even texted the girl and told her that I’m sorry if i have made her uncomfortable as that was never my intention. She replied back saying her and I we cool. Like I’m so over being gay. I thought coming out would release the weights off my chest, but it really didn’t. Even at home. I feel like my parents treat me different. I can’t handle this anymore. If i could, i would go back in time and never come out.
Sometimes that unfortunately happens. Many of my friends who have come out of closet have said that many of their friends changed - especially straight guys - after coming out of the closet. It is unfortunate but there is nothing you can do about it. It might help you to try to think why this happens. For straight guys it's most of the time the fear that you may want more from the relationship than just friendship. For straight girls it might be that they had a crush on you and realizing that you are unavailable they might lose interest. No matter what is the motive, think it as this way. The pool of your friends might have gone down but the quality has definitely gone up. Although only a few people know about my disorientation I'm sure to cut out any ppl who would have a problem with my sexual orientation no matter what. If someone feels it's a problem I'm straight, bi, gay or anything else then even if I'm not that orientation I don't want that person in my life. How are your parents treating you differently? Maybe they want to be supportive but don't really know how. Often that results in awkward interaction from their part (or even from friends part).
Has happened to me also. But you know what? Your sexual preference shouldn't be an inconvenience to anyone. It doesn't change who you are. Unfortunately some people still don't understand that. You shouldn't change who you are to make others feel happy or comfortable. Whoever doesn't like you as you are (the whole package), doesn't deserve you in their lives, and that includes your parents! Be proud of who you are.
Some people treat me differently too. But that's ok. At least now I know what people really think about me. The hardest thing for me is how to deal with these people and their behaviour. But getting better at it!
Yeah, I'm pretty much the same. Whatever I guess? I mean my family and friends accepted me and it was nice but now it's kind of something that is not talked about. So life goes on. As far as the study group? Screw them, you'll get it done one way or the other. Aim to do better than them I guess. Don't let it get to you. Get on with your life, you'll have better times. Focus on getting through nursing school. Wish I could say more? Good luck. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, keep going!
Yeah those stories where people say "it gets better" is just to encourage you to come out of the closet. It doesn't get better, but that's not the gay life, it's just how life in general is. Life is hard, every day, but it is also a beautiful journey. Enjoy it!
I felt that when i told to a friend that i was lesbian, she misunderstood that i was in love with her when i never have been in love with some of my female friends; i think that you should tell to your parents how uncomfortable you feel with it.
We forget, that we have often known for a long time we were gay, and we've had a long time to get our heads around it. By the time we come out (sometimes years later) we are ok with it. But for the people we tell it's a bolt from the blue. All thier expectations, everything they thought they knew goes up in smoke - and we're standing there judging every move, facial expression, sound - guessing how they're going to react and what they're thinking. Waiting for it all to kick off.. I was terrified to tell my family, but they took it surprisingly well. (I thought they'd abandon me) . They didn't freak out.. well mostly..and for a while they were a bit distant, but they came to realize I was the same person and they don't treat me differently anymore, its no big deal at work, its only really a consideration when we go on holiday now.
