I'm looking for help with gay conversion therapy. Can anyone assist as to where to find such therapy?
It doesn't work, most if not all are horribly traumatizing to go through, and lots can be dangerous for your life.
I second what kibou said. I know it can be hard accepting yourself and sometimes you want to change yourself, but what they do there isn't humane, helpful, or legit. It's scientifically proven you can't go through therapy to change your sexuality. Those places are places where they scare you out of being who you are, and expose you to horrible things so you associate it with your attractions. The only things you end up with after conversion therapy are self-hatred, denial, depression, and and delusions. Please consider other options - I've seen it ruin several lives and it's something nobody should ever have to go through.
Hello, and welcome to Empty Closets! As others have said, the so-called "conversion therapy" can be really dangerous to your health (physically and mentally). It is about trying to force you to be something you are not. Furthermore, there is absolutely no credible evidence that it works. On the contrary, there are stories of people who went through it, talked for some time that it worked... only to admit later that they were just repressing themselves. Being LGBT can be really scary in this world, unfortunately. But it is not the end of the world - it is perfectly possible to live a happy and complete life while being LGBT (we have plenty of examples here in the forum - myself included! ). It may take time for you to totally accept yourself - but understand that being gay doesn't equal to being unhappy. On the contrary - if you try to repress yourself and change who you are, you will only end up hurt and frustrated in the long term. I can't control your actions, but, please, consider looking for an alternative path that doesn't involve "conversion". That will only end up hurting you. We are here for you. If you want to, you can talk to us about how you are feeling.
Hi Cynthia Please don' even think about conversion therapy it' a load of bull you my be struggerling with you sexuality at the moment we all go through it but that therapy can be dangerous If you are feeling guilty or depressed about you sexuality just come on ec and talk we will help as best we can
No it doesn't work, people who go through it are 9 times more likely to commit suicide and 6 times more likely to use drugs extensively (Source: The Guardian). Gay conversion therapy camps can sometimes contain all manner of torture, sexual abuse and other depravities. It will ultimately ruin your life, it is far better to try and accept yourself for who you are, which can be hard, but is ultimately possible.
We can't stop you from searching and accessing gay conversion therapy but, unless you've been skipping all of the above messages because they don't really answer your question, you might have noticed that it's a generally disapproved method and the general stance around here is that you should categorically avoid it and try to focus on accepting yourself as much as possible, and there are many resources around here for that. If you're willing to give up on conversion therapy we can even assist you with working your way towards acceptance. Deal?
Thank you all for the replies. I wish I could feel differently right now about the conversion therapy but after losing all my friends and family for being gay, I feel I have to try and change. I don't want to hurt anyone for being gay anymore.
No problem, that's why we are here! Unfortunately, it isn't uncommon for LGBT people to few this way, especially in a short time after the coming out. However, understand that the problem here isn't you. You love who you love, you are attracted to who you are attracted to, and that's fine. Sometimes, men fall in love with women, sometimes men fall in love with men and sometimes women fall in love with women. There is nothing wrong with that - as long as a relationship/sexual encounter is consented by all parts involved (and everyone is an adult), everything is ok. The problem here isn't you - the problem is the prejudice that, unfortunately, is present in the people you mentioned. Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying you should blame them or be angry at them. But, unfortunately, if they can't accept you just because you feel attractions in a way they consider different, that's their prejudice speaking. That's the problem. The idea of a "therapy" is to fix something that isn't right. However, there is nothing wrong in being LGBT. Again, this is about you and yourself - you like who you like and that's it. You aren't hurting anyone by being LGBT (the prejudice is what hurts people - those who have it and those around them). In other words, you can't fix something that isn't broken. And, like a machine, if you try to force something that is already working to become something different...well, chances are that you will probably break the machine, not "fix" it. That's the same with conversion therapy, where you are trying to force yourself to become something you aren't, not because of you, but because others think you need to change. TL;DR: No one chooses to become straight. No one chooses to become gay. We are who we are, and that's it, that's fine! Prejudice is the problem, and prejudice is the thing that needs "fixing". Not love, in any of it's forms. I insist: Conversion "therapy" doesn't work and may hurt you. And this isn't a matter of opinion - There are studies about it that prove it's ineffectiveness. On the contrary, it doesn't change anything, and it just fuels self-hatred and internal repression. Here's an interesting link about this, that mentions the position of the American Psychological Association (i've seen many people saying that the APA is "biased" and "wants to hide something", but those people never provide credible evidence against the APA, besides some shady personal "stories" and "experiences"): https://www.livescience.com/50453-why-gay-conversion-therapy-harmful.html If you want something more "scientific", here are some other links that corroborate what i'm saying: http://drdoughaldeman.com/doc/ScientificExamination.pdf ("Sexual Orientation Conversion Therapy For Gay Men and Lesbians: A Scientific Examination" - Check his conclusion if you don't want to read everything, page 11) http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J236v05n03_08 ("Therapeutic Antidotes: Helping Gay and Bisexual Men Recover from Conversion Therapies") http://psycnet.apa.org/record/1994-34347-001 ("The practice and ethics of sexual orientation conversion therapy.") From this article, in special, there's this interesting quote: http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2002-01066-004 ("Gay rights, patient rights: The implications of sexual orientation conversion therapy.") http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0011000099275006 ("Treating the Purple Menace: Ethical Considerations of Conversion Therapy and Affirmative Alternatives") Unfortunately, most of these articles are behind a paywall, but there are ways of accessing them, including (but not limited to) acessing the internet from inside an university. But what i'm trying to show you is two things, basically: 1-There is extensive research about the subject (so it is a matter of science and psychology too, and not only opinion) / 2-The problem here is the prejudice, not being LGBT. Being LGBT is completely fine and normal! I hope i didn't complicate things too much.
Great! I tend to talk too much because it is an important subject to me, but glad to hear it was clear! Once again, please feel welcome to talk about this (or anything else you might need), anytime in the forum! We are here to help.
Cynthia, you seem like a decent and honest person who is only trying to do the right thing, and I commend you for that. I too was like you for many years. I couldn't bear to hurt my family and friends by being gay, so I did whatever it took to change, including conversion therapy, including being part of a "people can change" support group for almost 10 years, including having girlfriends and having sex with them, and including almost marrying them. If anyone out there tried everything, and I mean everything one could do to change, I was that person. Where did all of that effort get me? It got me to the point at 31 years of age of feeling suicidal for the first time in my life, it got me to the point of developing anxiety and depression that I still am trying to cope with (I am 34 now), it got me to the point of grinding my teeth at night when I sleep so that I will always need to wear a mouth guard every night, it got me the point of realizing that I was actually doing severe damage to myself and to the people around me by not accepting my homosexuality. I say this not to scare you, but to let you know, as someone who has gone through every possible thing one can do to change, that it's simply not something you can change out of your own will or desire, no matter how strong that will or desire may be. If you don't know this already, the founders of Exodus International, which was a Christian organization built on changing one's homosexuality, disbanded and the founders actually apologized for the harm they caused in making people believe change was possible. I know all of this may be hard to digest, because right now it probably feels like your *only* option is to change. It feels impossible to accept that you are gay and that that's ok. I understand this feeling because I felt that way for so long and ran as far as I could away from my homosexual feelings. I moved constantly and I wouldn't let people get too close for fear that they would figure me out. I remember even at one point waking up in the middle of the night feeling like my waking life was the nightmare. I say all this so that you understand that you are not alone in how you feel. I too felt the way you feel so deeply, so intrinsically, that the thought that I would one day accept being gay just seemed impossible. I felt that I would rather die than be gay, and well, I came close to that, before I finally said enough is enough. You are on your own journey with this, and it's ok to want to change before coming to a place where you might feel like things could be ok. But please take my words to heart, and know that I am not your enemy but someone reaching out in a way to my own former, younger self. Wishing you all the best on your path.
How sure are you that you're gay and not bisexual? If you really are 100% gay then I doubt it's possible to change. If you're not 100% sure then don't feel pressured to come out to people as "gay".. it's your business ultimately.
Hi, I don't have much to add to what all the others told you about the dangers of this therapy. I just hope this was anough to change your mind. However, I see your from Quebec, just know that conversion therapy is now illegal here in Quebec, and it's also illegal in Ontario, Manitoba and several states in the US. Instead, there are a lot of ressources to support you and to make it easier for you to accept yourself. You can also see a psychologist that specialise in LGBTQ+, so you can get help.
I'm sorry that your journey to change yourself was so painful. I'm glad you have accepted yourself. I can't for myself but I suppose that 's life. I know I have a long road ahead of me. I just hope that help, in whatever form will come to me.
Fun fact: if you can be glad for me that I accepted myself, then you could also one day be glad for accepting *your*self. And that, too, is life
