How do I do it? I mean, not technically. Where and how can I crossdress? I don't really have an... occasion. I don't care to pass. I just want to crossdress and have it acknowledged. I would maybe go to a gay club, but... to be honest I don't even like clubs. I don't believe gay clubs are very different from straight clubs. I don't really want to be hit at by strangers. I have no desire to have a relationship right now, nor for random make-outs. I'm an intovert, I don't do theatre on campus. Nothing else comes to my mind. Crossdressing at home - I even do it in public but nobody sees to notice or care. Additionally, there is no celebration involved in FtM crossdressing, as an MtF person, you do your nails, do your makeup, feel glam and pretty in nice clothes.... the other way round, no way to celebrate it. At least nothing comes to my mind. Help?
Go to a semi-formal / elegant party and wear a tuxedo or something Not a party in a club "to hook up", a normal party, like... a birthday.
How do you mean you want to have it acknowledged? You say you have no desire to pass so why is acknowledgement to you? I don't quite understand. If you were male clothes then that is crossdressing. Like Crisalide said, a formal occasion would be a place where you could make a proper impression crossdressing by wearing a suit but other than that just wear the clothes you're comfortable in. There can be a celebration for people AFTAB, get your hair cut and styling it, putting on smart clothes, which aftershave to wear. What do you want people to say to you, how do you want them to notice or care?
I just want them to notice. I just want attention this time xP Rare for me, but...Nah, it’s just like... I think everyone wants to have their gender acknowledged. To hear and see like... yes, you are totally a boy. Cis people get it all the time. Normal trans people too. But nobody wants to acknowledge. Mom: we girls, she. Dad: daughter. Friends: I don’t care what you feel like, *dumb laughter and never calls me my masculine name*, okay *then does nothing*. I’m not asking for much, I don’t even care what they call me, or what I am, it’s just the lack of acknowledgement that hurts. From people who are supposed to support me. Not even a freaking therapist. One kept on pointing it out to me that I’m female as if I didn’t know or as if it held any importance for me, the other never acknowledges that I am a guy or masculine, even though she doesn’t point it out to me that I have a vagina all the time. It’s just... rude to do so. I don’t see the importance of my genitals if I ain’t gonna use them probably. People are like... but don’t say it, because it’s too shocking. Inappropriate. What are people going to think about you? Nobody cares, so why say? It doesn’t matter. What matters about you are your skills and if you’re a good person. But for me it matters that I am a guy! I hope I’m making sense... I mean, this is a good question to be more specific, but it might not apply... A party would be a good idea if any social life existed around me... Getting a haircut is nice, true. Always gives me a boost. Maybe some cologne wouln’t be this bad of an idea. My parents would moan, but I guess I’ll manage if this is just one thing.
Why do other people get asked if they are trans and I don’t? Why do they get told they are masculine or a tomboy or whatever like this, and I get told that I can be an engineer and still be a girl? I don’t want to ’be a girl’. Why me, not them? Why am I supposed to still be a girl?
Sorry emerry. I'm still in the "girl" camp too, although my therapist and best friend have been kind to me. I don't have much of a social life either, but I would totally do the suit thing if something came up. My family would probably make me change, but I don't care. I'd wear the damn suit anyway...or at least sneak in a tie and waistcoat. I don't know what to say. Maybe you pass to most random people, so they don't comment on your appearance? It may be people you know who are a problem? Just a thought. Wish I could help you better. Hang in there. I know how frustrating non-acknowledgment can be. You feel invisible.
mens shirts is one suggestion ive heard, under dressing, like boxers under your clothes. a friend of mine who is NB sometimes wears a very feminine skirt with a mans dress shirt. mens kakies (SP?) and loafers, look at how guys sit and move and emulate them.... just a couple off the top of my head.
as for when, i used to do it when i was alone, especially for a couple hours. then later i would under dress. have, in my case, "girly" talks with myself in my head when i'd get a free minute if i was somewhere like at work.
A tie and a waistcoat is one of those outfits I planned and I'm waiting for... Maybe I pass to most random people as a girl who wears men's dress shoes every single day... (Those shoes are extremely comfortable and look great) or maybe it's the weather and my brain looks at everything through a pessimistic lens. Happens. People I know being a problem? Can you explain? Sarah, that's a lot of good dressing ideas I'm quite known for sitting like a guy already. For a long time, I was worried that I sit like that if I forget myself. A skirt and a men's shirt sound interesting, I don't even know how to do guy talk with myself. What even is guy talk? Guys don't talk xP ? Just stare at the TV, lol. Alternatively, at the computer screen. Hey. Thank you all for your replies.
guy talk. for me it was girl talk, of course. things like "girl dont forget to pick up eggs on the way home" wake up "good morning beautiful" calling myself "sarah" when doing referrals to myself in my head instead of my birth name. things like that. basically the normal conversation you have in your mind, with the 'proper' gender slant. if any of this makes any sense.
Thank you. Makes sense I guess this is why Two Spirit and the similar makes sense. If that is a social thing, they celebrate it... or something. It's a shame my high school years have passed. Then such things like gender matter. Maybe it's just that I didn't have a proper high school experience? But it can't go back. At the same time, I feel like all the people around me are acting so childish. This is self-contradictory. That people are acting childish and I can't make the high school age pop up again. Or... maybe they are still in elementary school xP This is why...
People at uni act childish because for the first time they never have parents around Lol. What about learning to dance? I guarantee that makes someone feel handsome. I'm fascinated by Fred Astaire's dancing scenes, but it doesn't seem your stile to me. :/ Couple dances? Swing? Rockabilly? xD
I meant that it is possible to feel more uncomfortable around people you know (even subconsciously), when trying to pass, so your self-scrutiny is larger. After all they know you are working on passing. Sometimes that's worse than trying to pass to a total stranger. Hope that makes sense. However, the relationship can be supportive as well. Just depends on the people involved.
Okay here's my take: As a man I go out in a sharp (lounge) suit and feel b--y brilliant. Proper shirt. Silk tie. Cufflinks. Ok i would rather wear a dress (!) Maybe! but still but you could feel fab in a suit be all boy wear aftershave. Be a dude.Put your self about - in a nice way. Enjoy yr night out party whatever. Relate with fun lovers boy girl trans .
