So I've started dating a transguy I met here at university. I'll call him Evan. We've been seeing each other for a week or two. He's absolutely adorable and I really like him, but I need advice. I have absolutely no dating experience and have never even kissed someone. I want to express to him that I like him in a romantic way, but I also don't want to overstep any boundaries or make him uncomfortable. Evan is very quiet and only now is he starting to open up to me. How can I tell if he likes me or if he is comfortable around me? We text a lot and have a pretty playful attitude with each other. In person the way he acts around me is that he'll do a lot of glancing and looking away. Or when I get to talking he'll giggle a lot. Sometimes he will talk if I can get him going on a good or relatable topic. Evan seems pretty nervous, but I know he's naturally a quiet guy, but I'm not sure if I'm doing something wrong and that is why he is laughing. I feel like we have a lot in common, but it's kind of hard for me to connect with him or read what he's feeling. It almost seems that I'm more into him than he is into me (but this could also be my own imagination...). Often I find myself daydreaming about kissing him, and believe me I want to, but it is frustrating because I don't want to rush things. But also, I don't want to friendzone myself accidentally and make physical connection awkward between us. What advice would you have for someone who is just starting out dating, with a guy who I'm pretty sure is just as inexperienced and reserved as I am? I often take initiative to get us together... I want Evan to be comfortable around me so I do my best to be accomodating and open. But how do I get closer and express myself in a romantic way - but that is both assertive and cautious enough?
This sounds like he’s just a bit nervous/shy. Especially with the looking away and giggling I would be inclined to say he probably likes you but is just a bit shy about it. Has he dated much before that you’re aware of? Initiating physical contact can keep it beyond a friendship. By that I don’t mean jumping in and kissing him etc (as much as you probably want to). Sit closer to him, maybe even touch his arm or hand? Watch his reaction though, he may withdraw. If he does probably best to just ignore/leave it until later on. This doesn’t always mean he doesn’t like you, shy people are difficult to read! Don’t rush it. If it gets to the point where you want to kiss him but you’re not sure you could always say that you want to? I think people often think that ruins the moment but from my experience shy people usually don’t mind it. Open communication is really important, especially if someone or both people are shy. When someone is nervous they often don’t realise that they can come access as uninterested! Good luck!
