Most of you will probably have seen Ellen Page’s statement on the director who outed her before she had even come out to herself. If you haven’t: https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/nov/10/ellen-page-brett-ratner-gay-comment She said it contributed to feelings of shame. I just wondered if this had happened to anyone else and what the consequences were? Have you ever felt pressured to come out? Although this has never happened to me I think peoples offhand homophobic comments definitely contributed to my feelings of shame and internalised homophobia.
I don't feel pressure to come out. I like to take it slow and pick the right moment. I have told one person that I trust. And she supports me.
I have felt no pressure to come out. I think I would like to at some point, but I have no time table in place. For now, it will be enough to be out anonymously
There are times when I feel like I am living a double life. There is my EC life where I am out and happy and free and then there is my reality where I am only out to a few people and still trying to navigate my way out of the closet. The people that matter in my life know who I am and support me. But in a professional setting, I do face severe homophobia and while not legal, would risk severe backlash if I came out. Unfortunately, that is just the reality of the mindset in my part of the country and the industry I work in. Its tiring wearing the mask of denial that I have worn for so long and it probably doesn't help me to fully accept myself when I can't accept myself 40 hours of the week.
i got called gay, F*g, and Queer when i was growing up and by my ex wife but it was weaponized as abuse. not a coming out thing or getting outed thing. the only pressure ive felt was from me.
Yeah I’ve been called similar “f@!king lesbian’ (imaginative eh?!) etc. and had comments like ‘oh you’re getting your haircut, are you going to get it shaved?’ but the pressure I’ve felt is mostly from myself. Everyone I’ve told has been really supportive.
That must be hard Neon Socks. My work is pretty LGBT friendly so I’m lucky in that way. What industry do you work in if you don’t mind me asking? I think if the people who are most important to you know and support you that’s great. I think everyone has to go at their own pace coming out and mine has been a pretty slow pace
I don't mind at all. I have become and over- sharer since joining EC and really I have no qualms about sharing things if they might help anyone else down the road. I work in finance, but specifically I work for a large agricultural company. Diversity is pretty sorely lacking here, but I am hoping with time things will change. : )
The interesting thing is, I tell the guys at work all the time what I want to do with men , but they think I’m joking. There is a lot of gay humor going on. I may not be the only bi or gay guy there. P
Funny I make similar comments at my work and it seems like when there is a question about gay things the ladies in my office come and ask me. We always talk about other girls that are so cute, sweet, or adorable, but my guess is they don't mean it the same way I do. My boss already knows about my obsession over lesbian movies, I went on for like 4 months about Carol until she watched it and I briefly told her about Blue is the Warmest Color. I didn't suggest that she watch it though lol. I don't straight out say what I am but I say what I want about things and try not to censor my comments. My current coworker was curious about a previous lesbian coworker who had a girlfriend, current coworker said to me "I wonder what they do" and I replied go rent a movie or ask her. She was pretty open and might have told her. I thought it was a stupid question though.
There is one guy who seems to stand a little close to me when we speak, doesn’t seem to do it with others. Maybe he suspects something and is interested, or maybe he is just being friendly. Even if I was out I would never have a felationship at work. Nothing good can come of it. I made that mistake once when I was much younger, not again
