Corrupt A Wish

Granted!

But the sandwich is built of granite.


I wish there was a way to defeat crippling depression.

 

Granted: but the only way to defeat it is by listening to at least 72 hrs straight of Katy Perry songs at least once a week.

I wish there was an easier way to make money from home.

 

Granted! But you have no boss, therefore you earn a quarter of the minimum wage!

I wish that I could meet GOT7 ((a kpop group)) in person.

 

Granted, but you're completely invisible to them (so they can't see you)

I wish I could easily get rid of my stage fright.

 

Granted, in a situation when you would normally suffer from it, you'll start seeing people in a very funny way (something like them being naked and riding pigs) and you'll start uncontrollably laughing.

I wish I could speak fluent Mandarin Chinese...

 

Granted! But you only understand strawberry cantonese.

I wish I could play every musical instrument known at a professional level.

 

Granted, but you are now only able to communicate in song.

I wish I didn't eat so much tonight! (I feel a bit sick!)

 

Granted, you instead had to throw it away, because all that food was spoiled...

I wish I could sleep on a beach today.

 

Granted, but when you wake up you find that an oil tanker wrecked off shore, and everything, including you, is covered in sticky black oil goop.

I wish some of my college friends lived closer to me.

 

Granted. But if you see them you disappear.

I wish I could hold my breath forever.

 

Granted, you can hold your breath forever but you can't speak.

I wish I could actually get teachers that actually teach.

 

Granted, you now have excellent teachers for every subject. However you have no languages in common.

I wish I could time travel.

 

wish granted, but you can only go further in the past



i wish i had a better life

 

Granted but you only have 3 days to live and enjoy it.

I wish all my debts were paid off

 

Granted. But in order to pay it off, you had to sell weapons to a terrorist organisation and you're wanted by the UN.

I wish I was the cooliest boi in school.

 

Granted. But it is dog training school for seeing eye dogs.

Wish I could sleep better at night.

 

Wish granted. But everytime you have a good sleep a demon will watch over you.

I wish i could be more motivated

 

Wish granted but you're motivated to procrastinate and be lazy.

I wish I could sleep in today

 

Wish granted but you will have to sleep on a bed of nails

Wish I could go on a long vacation

 

Granted. But you have to be naked all the time

I wish i had lots of money