Hello! I'm a trans guy, only out to the friends I came out to in high school five years ago. Online and in some very few spaces I am able to embrace my male self, but in the workplace and at home I am living as my assigned gender. I consider myself rather androgynous in appearance and tend to pass as male quite often at first impression. I started dating a guy I work with about a year ago and after months of "are we dating or are we just friends" we're now in an established relationship. And this is where things get confusing. I have not come out to him yet. It hasn't really come up in a major way. As far as he is aware, I am my assigned gender. And I have no idea how to come out at this point. We're both very awkward and don't do a lot of heartfelt talking, which for the most part is fine and suits us both. I'm at a point where I'm itching to tell him though, as it's basically the only thing he doesn't know about me and it's... kind of a huge part of who I am. I won't be seeing him until a few days from now as our schedules don't permit it, so I'm wondering if it's insensitive to do the whole thing via text messaging to allow him to mull it over until the next time we meet. I had planned to do it in person last night but couldn't find an easy opening for Serious Talk and wimped out. My other option is to wait it out and tell him when I next see him outside of work, which is a week away, and I'll then be spending the next few days with him (which isn't ideal, as I want to give him a little space to get his head around it). I do not think he will react negatively. In fact I suspect he won't be overly surprised. I only wish to give him time and space because I know he's the type of person that needs to process emotional/sentimental/heartfelt things at his own pace. tl;dr would it be awful to tell my boyfriend I'm actually a dude via text?
I think it's best to tell people in person, but don't let my opinion overrule yours. I think you should do what you think is best because you know your situation better than I do, but personally, I wouldn't come out to important/close people via text. But that's up to you!
It depends on the type of relationship you guys have. Texting may be fine, it may not be, but 8 don't know you guys so I really can't say anything definitive. Perhaps, to make it a little more personal, send a longer, well thought out e-mail rather than a text, as it allows you to say more and still gives him the headspace to think about it.
