I really don’t understand with BDSM. Can someone explain phsycological people who like BDSM? What is the background? It relates to childhood memories?
I fantasize about it sometimes. I don't know why. I've never been abused nor do I have self-esteem issues, but I still like the idea of submitting to someone else. It just feels nice to be passive and lose power in the moment. It's a trust thing. I could never do it with a stranger, but if I trust the person I love to not legitimately hurt me, it can be a fun power exchange. I do not like the pain/sadism parts though....so I guess I'm more for the B/D and D/S part, but not the S/M part.
I don't understand Game of Thrones. To me it seems like a boring as hell overrated show, and I don't want to watch that shit. However, what I say means absolutely positively nothing. It's a very successful show with lots of fans. Just because S&M is something you find rejecting, doesn't mean others feel the same way. The reasons are very dismissive, and shouldn't bother you. Me personally, I have no issue with the BDSM activities. I think of it as a way that each person demonstrates romance and love and different ways. To some people, torture and pain is a turn on for them and they feel more romantic to that. "I love that person so much, I'm gonna whip them with a belt. I'm gonna pour hot wax on them. I'm gonna put a leash on them." etc. As long as these people are happy, and it's consensual, I don't have any problems or issues with it. So you have to look at it that way. Mind you, I am a virgin and I've never done stuff like this, I am currently neutral on this. So there is no bias or anything. For someone who isn't interested and disgusted by this, that's an interesting question to ask. But I'll answer it anyways. B/D is Bondage and Discipline. Basically it's when you're having sexual relationships, you show dominance and the more submissive partner, is submissive towards the dominant partner and showing discipline. You obey what your partner says, and they are your master and leader. Also sometimes there is maybe playful acts like tying someone to the bed post or blindfolding your partner. S/M is Sadomasochism. Which is basically pain, torture, suffering and embarrassment/humiliation. This is usually causing physical and/or mental pain to your partner for sexual thrill. Whipping and beating them, causing pain. Saying dirty things to your partner, making fun of them and saying insults or derogatory words to them for sexual thrill. Making them wear a humiliating outfit. Putting a collar/leash on them. Throwing water on them etc. I hope that helps you out.
The other poster gave a good reply, but anyway: B/D is bondage and discipline, D/S is dominance and submission, and S/M is sadism and masochism. S/M is the part of BDSM that involves physical pain and torture. Blood play/cutting, having wax poured on you, genital torture, etc etc You can have dominance and submission without the pain part. Having slave/master titles, following orders, being restrained,
Thank you, Now I understand that. Perhaps for D/S I understand with the roles, even I like both vice versa. I have question about B/D and S/M, why people do sex with pain and torture? What kind of people who enjoy this role? What is the psychological background people who like BD and SM? Thanks
There is a link between pain and pleasure. For example, a lot of people like to have their nipples tweaked, pinched, etc. during sex because the pain and pleasure centers are linked in our brains and the pain can actually heighten the pleasure. So, that's why some people actually enjoy this pain/pleasure dynamic with sex. Some people take it to extremes and that's when torture is involved. There is also a dynamic of domination/submission as it relates to giving/receiving pain. Personally, this is not for me, but I do understand the dynamic, and anyone who experiences some pleasure from pain, even in small amounts, should be able to relate the experience. You can try it a little yourself if you cause your nipple some pain during masturbation, especially as you near the climax. It really does heighten the pleasure of the orgasm. But a little nipple tweak is as far as I'm willing to go in the pain department.
Aside from some light spanking, I’m not into pain. I am, however, very submissive sexually. Not sure what that means
Gideon and I are very D/s oriented. That said, we are not into "traditional S&M". That said, I think I can help you understand the appeal, as we ARE into violence.... and the occasional infliction of pain during sex. Pain can be the "key" that unlocks one's endorphins. These endorphins can heighten pleasure, and cause euphoria. Thus, in a lot of cases, Pain = Euphoria. That euphoria creates an intense vulnerability, but with a partner in a BDSM setting, it can be experienced in a safe place with someone you trust to not just guide you to it, but let you experience it fully. This is only one side though, as there are as many reasons (and ways/methods) people practice BDSM (and enjoy it) as there are people participating in it. The side of BDSM that I personally can't wrap my head around is degradation. I don't get it. I've tried, but I really don't. "Submissive sexually" means that you enjoy letting your partner take control in the bedroom.
It sounds like you're asking mostly about the aspect of pain being sexual, yeah? Or possibly more you want to know what motivates a person to not just allowing this kind of thing, but getting off on it? I can be quite sadistic, but for me, personally, the acceptance of pain has to be a trigger, a need in another for it to work for me. Just punching someone in the face doesn't make my dick hard.... it's not the action, it's the -reaction- By the time he gets me to the point that I'll swing on him? It's written all over him that he wants it, that he needs it. That he's hot at just the IDEA of me beating his ass and claiming what's mine....and -that- is what makes it hot for me. The power, the thrill of knowing that I alone control that need, that I alone can appease it... I've actually dipped into this topic a few times over the years, I find it interesting to hear each person's perspective. One of the best explanations I've gotten though was from a person in constant and unrelenting daily pain. He told me that even as the submissive and the bottom, this pain, this need was something that -he- could control. That he could seek and find escape in...when the rest of his life was out of his control, this was something that he got to -choose- It was pain that he got to choose freely. It made sense to me and gave me a pretty good start toward understanding of an actual craving for something like pain.
There are many reasons why people enjoy sadomasochism. I don't think there necessarily has to be a deep reason behind it. Hell, SM is common human sexual behaviour if you include tame things such as biting. Although of course various SM activities one person might consider extreme, another might consider tame and vice versa I'm a sadist & I prefer inflicting PHYSICAL pain. For myself it's definitely about intensity. I'd say SM is a way of expressing love through intense sensations. Plus there is often preparation & LOTS of care, popular media rarely shows you that side amongst other things, so I can understand why SM might seem strange to people When your partner is careful, then you can build up a resistance to pain and enter an altered state of mind. Maybe I don't appreciate pain the same way as masochists but sometimes I switch roles because of sheer curiosity or thrillseeking
