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LGBT News Father shoots and kills his son for being gay

Discussion in 'Current Events, World News, & LGBT News' started by Suomi, Nov 5, 2017.

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  1. Suomi

    Suomi
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    I was just so sad to hear this story.

    So there was a father and son having an argument in their house in Nevada a couple days ago. The boy shot by his father, and was in the hospital under critical condition, and the dad ran off.

    It's now come out, the dad shot the son because he was gay and the son sadly died, and the dad is now with the police being charged.

    It's just really sad stuff like this happens.

    It also hurts twice as much as this was a black family, and being black myself, I know the struggle and the non acceptance being gay in a black family, and why my relationships with my family, isn't one.

    He would rather his son be a gang member, or criminal or dead, than be gay.

    That's why I hate most of this be out and proud shit, when sadly stuff like this happens.

    https://www.advocate.com/crime/2017...-14-year-old-son-allegedly-because-he-was-gay
     
    #1 Suomi, Nov 5, 2017
  2. Chiroptera

    Chiroptera
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    Really sad, indeed. I hope the murderer gets what he deserves.

    Indirectly, that would be blaming the victim. The problem isn't being out and/or proud - the problem is that we have bigots who can't stand other people being happy in a way that is different from their way.

    If we want to change that, we can't hide in the shadows. We need to be out. We can't let people die like this or suffer alone in hiding in a world full of prejudice. We need to fight so that these murderers get what their deserve, and we need to educate people so we can slowly build a better world.

    Obviously, i'm not saying everyone should come out at once, or that everyone has the obligation of fighting. If someone is ok and happy in the closet (or if coming out represents a high risk to their health and well being), by all means, feel free to stay in the closet if that's the best choice at the moment. However, no one should live an entire life in fear, or live a lie just because bigots don't accept them. Also, remember that not coming out doesn't represent totally safety: Unfortunately, we have many cases of people who have been killed because people suspected they were gay (including straight people).

    So, yes, we need people out of the closets, showing their pride to be who they are. Pride of being themselves in a world that hates them. Pride of not bowing down to murderers like this "father". Again, if this represents a direct risk, or if you are really comfortable without telling anyone, then of course, i don't recommend coming out. But we need people out and proud if we want to continue changing the world. And, when a tragedy like this happens, we need to understand that the victim isn't to blame. If he choose to come out, that was his right.

    Everyone has the right to be who they are. And, if someone took this right from him, that is where the problem is, not in the victim's coming out or not, and the murderer needs to answer for his/her crimes.
     
    #2 Chiroptera, Nov 5, 2017
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  3. Suomi

    Suomi
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    I see what you mean, but that's not what I meant.

    I'm just saying, there should be more awareness if things or situations go wrong.

    I don't like how we are told to be open and embrace our sexuality, yet we run into risks than that.

    Than being closeted, you're kinda telling yourself that you're ashamed of your lifestyle, so you might as well be dead. Ugh.

    In the very least, the parents will just kick you out, and you have to stay with outside family members or friends or whatever. In the very most sadly, it ends up in death.

    Physical wounds heal, mental wounds you can ignore and say "well fuck them, that's not me." etc.

    But death is a whole another thing. It's the unknown and the end and final. No more life.

    It's also sad, because the father, this man was an airplane pilot for United Airlines which is supposed to be a open minded company. Ugh. Fuck.

    So you would think his son was just a feminine gay man, rather than being riff raff or a hoodlum or something. Damn. Smh.

    I feel he could have easily been me, and he still could sadly be me one day, being a gay black man. Ugh.
     
    #3 Suomi, Nov 5, 2017
  4. Chiroptera

    Chiroptera
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    I understand what you are saying, and, unfortunately, yes, we don't live in an ideal world where we can just say "we need to fight!" and everything will be magically solved while "Another Brick in the Wall" rolls in the background. Being careful is needed, and I do agree that there are some situations where the person needs to wait some things (financial independence, living outside of parents house, etc.) before coming out, if the risk is too great.

    However, with that said, I do insist we need to be careful not to blame the victim here. "Oh, he could have been more careful! If he did X and not Y, he would be alive!". While it is true that we need to be careful, unfortunately, the victim is a victim. The murderer's actions here are to blame.

    So, more than educating LGBT people about risks, we need to educate everyone to be respectful to each other. Yes, I'm repeating myself to be clear: We need to be careful. But not coming out isn't guarantee of safety, and, in the end, the problem here is the prejudice, not the coming out.

    It is a really, really sad situation. I think about the violence that we LGBT people suffer everyday. But we need to remember that the problem isn't us. We just want to live a normal and happy life. Thus, yes, be careful, but remember that the problem is prejudice. That's what we need to change, not the victim's choices about coming out.
     
    #4 Chiroptera, Nov 6, 2017
  5. Spot

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    This is so awful, he was so young...
    RIP, sweetie <3
     
    #5 Spot, Nov 6, 2017
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  6. brainwashed

    brainwashed
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    The son was 14. The son's age does not surprise me. Early to mid teens is the age of self awareness and reflection.

    14 was the age my mom and I had nuclear arguments about me and "my path in life". Early to mid teens is when one begins to assert themselves. In hindsight I should have run away from home.

    One has to ask where did this "I hate gays" thinking come from? Could the source be Christian religion practitioners?

    Post, post edit:
    This news puts me in a bad way. It's really depressing.
     
    #6 brainwashed, Nov 6, 2017
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  7. StarRunner

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    I think I sort of understand what you are saying. If you are saying that coming out in a homophobic home can be dangerous, I tend to agree it's quite possible there could be repercussions. I, for one, would not advise a young person to come out in a home with a father who may be a homophobe, and I doubt anyone on this site would either. It's too dangerous. I worked at a drop-in for street-involved youth a number of years ago and our stats showed that approximately 40% of homeless youth self-identified as LGBTQ. Our numbers were consistent with national studies. Not all parents are homophobes, however, and coming out to family should only be considered after a lot of careful thought. I've seen too many homeless LGBT youth end up on the street falling victim to the predators. The safety of our youth is paramount. The safety of our youth is paramount.

    It must also be said that violence can happen anywhere. We cannot live in fear of being open and expressing ourselves. History has shown us that movements of rightousness have always experienced violence and the loss of life. Gay men were rounded up and sent to death camps during the holocaust. The rights of the LGBT population in the US began to take flight after the Stonewall Riots in the late sixties, when patrons in a gay bar refused to back down to police brutality. The shooting in Orlando did not send a chill throughout the community and indeed may have served as a catalyst for more people to come out of the closet.

    We survive and we move forward stronger because we walk on the right side of history.
     
    #7 StarRunner, Nov 6, 2017
  8. Morse Code

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    It's a very sad story. It just goes to show you that not all parents "love" their kids the way society says they do.

    I agree, there appeared to be enough of that from certain neighbors.
     
    #8 Morse Code, Nov 6, 2017
  9. Suomi

    Suomi
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    I just think it's sad that gay is now life and death.

    I do have a homophobic family, and I wish to and want to have a boyfriend so bad one day. I wish I could take him to a family function so I can come out to the family, without having to shun myself from them, without me getting shot, because of that.

    This story basically changes my whole outlook on life, and I hate being black and gay even more so now. Ugh.
     
    #9 Suomi, Nov 7, 2017
  10. andimon

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    The black community needs to get its shit together. The macho - gangster - heteronormative expectations that are being forced upon (male) youngsters are very much toxic and I'd say are to blame for most of what the community is going through right now (violence, fatherlessness). I wish what I was saying right now was offensive, but it's sadly just the truth.
     
    #10 andimon, Nov 7, 2017
  11. Andrew02

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    Poor guy, he was too young... and I hate this kind of things, I mean how can someone kill his own son?! It's insane.
    R.I.P. Angel
     
    #11 Andrew02, Nov 7, 2017
  12. Suomi

    Suomi
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    In the same token, the LGBT community needs to just as inclusive.

    Being a gay feminine black man, I can even fathom with you the amount of shit I had to put up with on the other side as well with not being accepted.

    I don't like how the LGBT community doesn't support minorities, and most queer male spaces want to improve masculinity and shame feminine guys.
     
    #12 Suomi, Nov 8, 2017
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  13. PlantSoul

    PlantSoul
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    I don't know why I expected the father and son to both be white. I'm not surprised that this was the father's reaction. The AA community has that hyper masculinity thing going on with their males, in a way that you don't see with other races, coupled with the fact that many are religious. Bad combo, IMHO. I have a relative, a cousin, who came out as a lesbian. She was excommunicated. No one will talk about her. It's almost as if she never existed. I'm sorry about how your family reacted to you. Hopefully, something positive will result from this young man's murder. Like, a bill that protects children who come out to hostile family.
     
    #13 PlantSoul, Nov 8, 2017
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  14. Suomi

    Suomi
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    Sadly, people are just going to see this case as just a father killing his son in cold blood. When that's not necessarily the case.

    When I believe if that boy were not gay, he would still be living.

    Now that the story has sat for a while, I'm starting to form different opinions.

    I sadly deep down believe the dad killed him in some twisted and sick form of love. I guess he scared for his son. Due to how it is more hard to live as a gay man in society. I guess he didn't want his son to live that type of lifestyle, and it was equally both hate and fear that made him do it. I know it's hard to explain. Ugh, just never mind.
     
    #14 Suomi, Nov 9, 2017
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  15. Elendil

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    That's just sad. How can a parent stoop so low as to murder their own child for being gay?

    I hope the bastard gets locked up for the rest of his life.
     
    #15 Elendil, Nov 9, 2017
  16. PlantSoul

    PlantSoul
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    Not to downplay what you experienced while living under your mom's roof but, there's a lot worse that could've happened to you if you had chosen to run away. Kidnapping, homelessness, drug addiction, prostitution/forced into the sex trade, etc.
     
    #16 PlantSoul, Nov 12, 2017
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  17. PlantSoul

    PlantSoul
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    I read about this story on The Root. Luckily, in the state where this took place, it's considered a hate crime to kill someone over their sexuality. I believe they're in Nevada. The son was removed from his father's custody before. His foster mom talked about years of abuse this young man endured at the hands of his so called "father", who had previously pulled a gun on his son and his boyfriend after catching them together. What I want to know is who the hell dropped the ball in deciding to let this young man go back to living with his father. This person needs to lose their job. This young man would've still been alive had he been allowed to stay with his foster mom! I wish she could've adopted him.
     
    #17 PlantSoul, Nov 12, 2017
  18. brainwashed

    brainwashed
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    Good point, thank you. To maintain my privacy in this "open" forum post there is info I am not providing. For instance, the possibility and/or my perception that I could have been put on a path that would have resulted in my death was very, very real. And I came very close to killing myself. I do not think any young person, I was 15/16, should be put in this type of position.

    The above material and the threats against me is one reason (theory) why I want to protect young people in current time. I want to take them, hold them and say it's ok, you are safe now. Let it out.
     
    #18 brainwashed, Nov 13, 2017
  19. PlantSoul

    PlantSoul
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    That's very admirable of you. I hope you'll be able to accomplish that.
     
    #19 PlantSoul, Nov 16, 2017
  20. gravechild

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    Toxic masculinity strikes again. No punishment would be too great...
     
    #20 gravechild, Nov 16, 2017
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