Hi everybody, I'm a 25 year old gay guy and I've been having a hard time finding a boyfriend. Actually, I have never had one because all the good looking guys I’ve been interested in always turned out to be straight or simply not interested. However, when I’m at places like workplace, the gym or if I’m walking down the street or at the movie theater and see a good looking guy I like, I usually try to show interest by smiling and looking at him, not to the point of staring because I know that would make anyone feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, it seems to me that I’ll end up alone since no one ever notices, glances or looks at me, which is frustrating. I’m not really sure if it’s due to the fact that I’m not even out. I consider myself good looking because lots of people have said that to me but sometimes I think I'm not good looking enough, as nobody has come and talked to me so far. Currently I don't have any friends and I lost touch with the few ones I had in university, they were straight, though. Whereas, I haven't met anyone since I finished the university, which was in 2014. Since I'm not into gay websites like A4A, ###### or Adam4Adam, I have no idea how I'm supposed to meet someone in order to start any kind of relationship, I mean, it could be a friendship and not necessarily a relationship. So How can I get attention from good looking guys as a gay guy myself? Would it be Ok with you if you let me know how good or bad my english is? it isn't really my native language, though.
1. the english is good. 2. try introducing yourself..if they know your name it helps.try to befriend them,then come out to them. good luck.
Be more active in the gay scene of your city, make LOTS of LGBT friends and you'll definitely start seeing things fall into place.
There is no gay scene. If there is, I wouldn't want any part of it. It's probably full of ignorance and things you don't want to get involved in. He doesn't want to go on gay sites, which I understand. It's tough.
Forget about dating and even suppress any desire you have to get into a relationship. Those will make you 1° desperate, 2° look desperate. Then one day maybe odds are that you will find someone who happens to be the brand of Queer™ your like, and there you go.
If one doesn't become part of what community exists and if one avoids online sites where one can meet other gay guys, then it's going to be exceptionally difficult to find a boyfriend.
There's a pretty active "gay scene" here in Chicago, been involved in it for twenty-five years or so and had almost universally good experiences. I've tended to tap into the gay community anywhere that I travel and similarly have tended to have good experiences. Never done any of the apps myself mainly because I didn't see the need. Obviously everyone's experience is going to be different.
Being gay is difficult and a very depressing life in it's damn self, so all that shit is dismissive sadly. There are queer positive spaces, and yes there are other gay men out there somewhere. But I don't consider most of these sexually themed, bar hopping and sexual promiscuity groups anything positive or a "gay scene". Only to partake in a facade and being into a fake clique or group that judges you more and makes you feel even more sad at yourself.
Depending on where you live, there could be some local LGBT communities or groups around you. I know there's one where I live, however small it is, it's still there, and going to events I still feel small and alone lots of times. Perhaps going there with some friends who are LGBT supporters, and go saying you're a supporter yourself if you're not ready to come out? Therefore you can go, cruise for some cute guys, befriend them and see where things go from there. I'm in the same boat as to how to find a guy. I'm in a smaller city, and finding guys my type, and willing to look past my body mismatching issues, feels close to impossible. Dating sites I'm worried to try because I have some trust issues as well which doesn't help. Having Aspergers makes it even harder to connect with someone, or to understand when someone is interested in me without making it blatantly obvious. If some guy starts off with 'hey cute stuff' then I just get pissed off and tell them where to go and how to get there lol. But I wish you luck dude, I hope you can find a wonderful guy who can love you for who you are as you deserve.
