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Is there a simple explanation for non-binary?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Alexis17, Nov 2, 2017.

  1. Alexis17

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    Hey everyone!
    I'm thinking about coming out to some more people as non-binary, but I don't think they know what nb means tbh. Even my parents don't understand it and I am very bad at explaining things.
    Would anyone have any simple explanations for what nb means?
    Any ideas, tips or advice would be greatly appreciated!
    -Fe
    (They/them)
     
  2. Secrets5

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    The sociological definition of gender is "the gender roles and expressions expected by the different genders in society". Non-binary individuals don't feel attached or completely attached to the roles expected of their assigned gender in their society nor the polar opposite (male/female), and thus choose a non-binary identity to express this.

    If you're looking for a neurological explanation, there isn't one as of yet and neurobiology isn't simple.
     
  3. Alexis17

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    So if I described non-binary as gender neutral, would that be ok?
    I want to make it simple for them to understand, but I don't want give out false or incomplete information either!
     
  4. Secrets5

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    If you want to put it simply, I think that will be a fine explanation. They will most likely have questions though, so be prepared to answer them.
     
  5. Alexis17

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    Ok so I tried to explain to my mom about being nb and my gender dysphoria and I showed her Ruby Rose's video called Break Free because I felt that it night help her understand better. She now knows what non binary means but she kept asking me why I couldn't just ignore my dysphoria and go with the flow like everyone else. I feel like utter sh*t rn because no matter how hard I tried to explain that ignoring it makes it worse she just didn't get it at all. I feel utterly miserable now :sob:
     
    #5 Alexis17, Nov 2, 2017
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2017
  6. StormyVale

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    Non-binary can mean different things to different people, but a general definition is not identifying within the gender binary of male or female. thus you can be neither man nor woman, both, a mixture of genders, or flowing in between different genders.

    Ruby Rose's video is a great choice of video to use i think. And I am glad she understood the non-binary gender portion of your conversation.

    Although it is frustrating and hard that she doesn't get your dysphoria, be patient with your mom because it is not something with which she has experience. I find that it is hard to get others to understand something that they have never experienced for themself.

    I am honestly trying to imagine if I had the same conversation with one of my parents. Being AFAB bigender, I wonder if how I rationalize it in my brain would help you explain it to your mom... I switch genders between male, female, and androgyne. For me I can't ignore my dysphoria most of the time either because when my brain tells me I am male or androgyne it is as if my brain's mental map of my physical body is that of a man or if androgyne half my body is female and half feels male.

    Maybe try this exercise and then have your mom try it. Just know your answers so that you can to tell her how they differ from what hers should be. Close your eyes and pretend that you are looking in a mirror and describe what gendered parts your brain thinks you have... what do you see in the fictional mirror? *I assume this mental image doesn't match completely with your physical body. To me, dysphoria is my brain telling me throughout the day that my body is different or is supposed to be different than what is physically present at that given moment. It doesn't go away, but can vary in intensity.

    Hope this can help you.