My safe closet

If you are single then why not if you feel the time is right for you? What’s keeping you in the closet?

 

There seems to be a common experience for people in their 40s to evaluate their life's choices. It's often referred to as the mid-life crisis, but really it's the point of becoming more aware of our own mortality. You have lived, by the average lifespan of the human male, about half of your life. That puts you at a crossroads at the beginning of your second half.

If you're now realizing that the choices you made for your first half were poor choices, maybe now is the time to correct the path you've been living and head in a new direction.

Have you been living your life for the expectations of others?
Have you denied yourself your rightful life because you were afraid of what people will think of you?
Have you spent these last 25 years denying who you are because you were ashamed of being gay?

The second half of your life is just ahead of you, Nick. You now have so much more wisdom at 40 than you did at 15. You have more life experience, more patience, and more courage. You are also right now in the most accepting time in history for LGBT people. The only thing stopping you from creating the most spectacular second half of your life is your own fear and shame. It's time to cast those away into the bin of the past. You will feel so much better when you do.

Take care.

 

Go for it! I came out at 46. You can still have a great life. There are so many possibilities for you. Don't feel embarrassed or ashamed. Good luck on whatever decision you make

 

I agree with the posters above, you have so much more experience of life than you did as a youngster , and 40 is not old anyway.

Of course it depends on your circumstances too , if you have dependent family (for example) that have prevented you leading life as a gay man.

Do you have a supportive network of friends?

I had to more or less start again , after my partner died, from leading a happy but very private life, where few people knew I was gay , to finding new gay friends, and eventually, when I was ready, a new partner. But I did it, and I was then 52.

So it’s never too late .

 

Hey Nick.
I am going through the same stuff. And I’m doing it at 52. This forum is awesome. You will find great people here. I suggest you seek out a therapist to help with this as well. It’s the best thing that I have done. Although I’m not out yet, I know that it will be soon. Every week I am excepting myself more and more. Stay on these forums and seek help with a therapist. We will eventually live our true selves. Free free to send a note or ask any questions. Maybe we can help each other.
Jeff