Seriously, How Do Straight Gender Fluid AMAB Guys Manage?????

2. Masculinity and femininity are not gender identities, they are expressions. If a man wants to be feminine, it doesn't make him non-binary, it just makes him a feminine man.

 

What secrets5 said.

Masculinity and femininity are not gender identities. You could be a trans woman who hates everything feminine- only wearing "boyish clothing", being dominant, collecting video games or guns, and avoiding dresses and make up like the plaque. That does not mean these people are cis men. They are trans women. They identify as women and have gender dysphoria (usually physical and social/pronouns). They are not men, they are tomboys.

It's the same if you are a feminine cis male.

 

I have probably mid understood what you wrote but women can be tomboys and not be trans if they are comfortable in their female body. Which sounds like what the op is but male. Women like this are usually gay but not always.

 

I didn't mean to imply that cis women are not tomboys- they can be. What I meant is that trans women can also be tomboys. People assume being a trans woman has to do with what kind of make up you wear or how "girly" you look and act, but it isn't true, so the tomboy thing was a clarification.

 

That’s fine I thought you were probably just giving an example. It’s just I see so many girls on here thinking they are trans when they are just tomboy ish and that it is fine to be a women and be like that so just wanted to add that in.

 

I completely agree. That is very problematic when it happens :/

 

We manage just fine! Of course being gender fluid I can be all over the map gender-wise and sometimes swing hard to the fem or masc side. Luckily my life partner is more than fine with it!

 

As others have said, gender expression and identity are two separate things. There can be masculine women and feminine men without them being trans.

Personally, I am a pretty androgynous transguy in terms of expression. I have a lot of feminine characteristics which are part of my personality and mannerisms. I enjoy makeup, kpop, and fluffy anime. I make a lot of flourishes with my hands and people have on more than one occasion remarked that I do things "elegantly." I'm very artsy and obsess over boys. But at the end of the day I am still a guy, regardless of what I like or how I behave. Someone that helped me to be embrace my femininity was actually David Bowie, who was a cis male (though probably could be considered genderfluid in today's terms) and liked girls (well, boys too, but that is another story). His sense of fashion and expression was always fearless and often quite flamboyant. In his younger days he would have long hair and dress in women's clothing, but that didn't phase him. I thought... I want to be like that.

Gender expectations don't matter. There are billions of cis people who never deviate from the binary norms perpetuated by society. And occasionally there are people who are outliers. They're special. If you are a feminine man who loves women, that is beautiful. Learn to love yourself as that man. Be forgiving.

 

Yes, some woman someday will love you for who you are, not despite who you are. Your face is only yours, don't wear a mask. What now makes you feel like a disadvantaged anomaly, will be cherished in the heart of the person who'll love you. Or just flirt with you.

 

This is the world that we live in, the challenge lies in accepting the world as it is and finding ways to be true to yourself despite the challanges that the world throws your way.

With this in mind, you cope by understanding and accepting the fact that most people do express themselves in terms of the binary and that it serves a purpose for those people. The binary isn't stupid in the same way that your desire to express yourself in feminine ways isn't stupid, it is a part of life and something that people feel really strongly about.

Unfortunately, you will also have to learn to accept that some people will respond aggressively to people who break the binary and as such you need to be careful to distance yourself from those people.

Above all else, you cope by seeing beauty in who you are inside and accepting that that beauty will always be part of yourself.

 

Hey. Girls. Stop the outrage and identity policing. Try to have a more open outlook on it, okay? Being okay with your body, if that is true at all for the OP, because I'm not sure from what I remember, doesn't mean you're fine identifying or that you do identify with the gender you were assigned at birth. *waves hand* That I have nothing against having a vee jay, doesn't mean I identify as a female. If I was the OP, that sort of comments - that I am a woman, ought to acknowledge it (emphasise it?? Claim it??), I'm wrong and mistaken - would make me feel hella bad. I feel objectified in such situations and as if someone was seeing me just as my junk, not as a person and not for who I am, which frequently happens, unfortunatelly. Please stop identity policing. Let people be comfortable.

Also, Snidi, you could try looking for bisexual female partners, those tend to be more open to different cofigurations and I find it works for me somehow. Or just couple up with people who are gender non-conforming, gender fluid, hang out in queer spaces. That increases chances of being in a less schematic relationship a lot.

 

And you will find love! Believe it!

 

^
Emerry, what you described probably happened because of this sentence. Exspecially «not transgender».
Despite this other sentence:

Anyway, it's been written everywhere on this forum that no one can tell what gender someone is except that same person. We all know it at this point.

 

I figure. But the OP writes about gender fluid and not transgender at the same time, so ... I think they mean just not being at the total end of the trans spectrum, not completely cis identified and gnc. It just looks like the OP can't find an accurate and coherent wording to explain their experience. By "cis male" they might mean MAAB. Or conversely, in which case I apologise for my personal butthurts, by gender fluid they mean not conforming to societal expectations of expression. (Although the OP doesn't seem utterly sure they are cis identified in their previous threads)

I hope we all agree that everyone has the right to identify however they feel. Indeed.