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i'm an idiot

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by simple boy, Oct 26, 2017.

  1. simple boy

    Regular Member

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    Not out at all
    i'm so freaking stupid ugh .... i came out as the wrong thing i never talk about it cause i'm a cowardly fool i can't do anything right :frowning2: please don't feel bad for me. just listen you guys all know that i have like really bad anxiety right? well if you don't know now you do i guess it's to the point where i'm always depressed i'm trying to be not so depressed i hear theses voices in my head all the time telling me that i'm not good enough and you should just give up already

    i did lie to thomas he did ask me how did it go i lie straight to his face and he know that i was lying if i could never tell the thruth i lie cause i know that people can't handle the thruth she would never accept and i understand that now it's time for me to stop trying cause it's not helping

    i'm to scared to talk to a professional for help with theses problems
     
    #1 simple boy, Oct 26, 2017
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2017
  2. kayaz

    Regular Member

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    I feel the same way sometimes. You are not alone. It is really scary I know. But It sounds like this is something that you need support about.
    What matters is you being able to live your own truth. I can relate to the lying bit because I thought I would just be protecting others from hurting them or causing them discomfort, but read your post over again. You do not deserve to feel that way. I wish I had known that a long time ago.
    You are not stupid. You are strong.
     
  3. simple boy

    Regular Member

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    since i had so many problems as a kid i'm afraid that my parents will just think it was because of my childhood. my brothers and me was separated when i was a little kid i went with my aunt and she was abusive toward me i was so traumatized that i ended up with a bipolar disorder a long with schizophrenia i do take medicines for both i'm afraid that all i am to my family is nothing but a burden to them but i know that me being trans have nothing to do with my issues that i've dealt with as a child

    thanks for posting
     
  4. StarRunner

    Regular Member

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    Out to everyone
    I would just like to hug you right now. I think we've all lied at some point in our lives to cover up our sexuality. It's survival. I worked in an environment many years ago when coming out gay could have meant getting fired.

    You're dealing with so many issues right now, I am concerned how they are affecting your mental health and your own self-image. It pains me to see people posting threads with titles like this. You're still working out your orientation and identity, and it can take time to settle those issues since they can be very complex. You're dealing with a lot of past abuse and it is also affecting how you feel about yourself. You shouldn't be afraid to talk to a therapist. There are many that are well-versed in LGBT issues, trauma amd clinil depression. Just do your research and find the right one. They're out there.

    If you really can't talk to a professional face-to-face, there are a number of online services where you can get help dealing with depression, such as The Trevor Project and the Transgender Helpline.

    https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

    Transgender Helpline (US) 1-877-565-8860

    I do hope you will consider reaching out for help, but if all of this seems overwhelming, there's one small thing you can do today that won't cost you any time or money: Just stop beating yourself up. You are a human being who deserves love and support like anyone else. Stop calling yourself names and putting yourself down. It's a form of sef-bullying which can arise from feeling depressed. Don't give into it and stop blaming yourself. It's a tough world when you're LGBT and we can all have bad days. We manage as best we can. 'Idiot, ''Stupid.' Please just remove those words from your vocabulary. Replace them with the following: 'Survivor,' 'Searching,' as many of us are.'

    You're on a journey, friend, and there will be detours and setbacks along the way. Be as open as possible, and don't be afraid to look for support if you have made mistakes with people who care about you.
     
  5. simple boy

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    Not out at all
    i know that you are just helping and i'm very grateful toward you for it that is how i know that i'm not moving forward in life because of the fact that i keep thinking of the past i was talking with a psychologist and i kept thinking about my last psychologist i don't know why i stayed with my last psychologist i guess i was desperate well i did learn more about myself not about the desperate i learn a lot more from my self then i did from those therapy sessions :frowning2: the person that i was talking to was a very nice person but this voice that was in my head was telling me "their all the same" i wish i could stop being so paranoid all the time i still have to sleep with a night light on when i was young i was made to sleep in a dark room with out out a light on i don't really want to post this kinda stuff so i'm going to just stop right there

    i tell myself that i am beautiful ten times a day now on the day that i was supposed to have came out to my mom just brought up my issues it got hurt talking to her about what i really had wanted to talk to her about every time she talks about my issues she always seem said and full of pity it just makes me feel more of a burden since i have these issues my mom have always called or made sure a family member came around to check up on me yes i will not eat for a few days i've also learn that i have a eaten disorder to be honest with you my parents is still afraid of me living alone

    but since my mom have found out about thomas she's been a little claim lately my dad is the type that don't like to show how he truly feels maybe that's why we don't talk my mom have told me that my dad did talk about me a lot and he was worry the most for me i just don't see it he just never showed weakness i guess he always seem so strong and so brave i still i have not seen that man cry.
     
  6. simple boy

    Regular Member

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    Not out at all
    i'm so sorry for spelling errors