Gender fluid pan-sexual with lesbian girlfriend. I want to come out to her.

You just sort of have to tell her. Lying about your gender/sex in a relationship can be seen as sexual assult by deception. If she doesn't want to be with you, then you can't force her.

 

I think you should tell her. I’m a bit lost with all the gender identities myself but assuming she is happy being with you then what label you give yourself shouldn’t really matter.

 

I am a little bit confused about the whole"how to do it and what to do exactly." thing. You know what? I think I see why you were getting flack by the LGBT community. I had to reread your post a couple of times because I wasn't sure I was reading it right. And if you posted the same question as I quoted you above, then that is why they were saying that you are fake and a "special snowflake". It comes off sounding like you are being disingenuous by asking "how to do it". As if it is a game and you want to play, so you want to know what the rules are.

Sweetie, I know that's not what you mean. In my heart of hearts, I know that you are probably going through some genuine feelings and questioning things right now. My daughter sometimes misspeaks and says things that aren't intended. It's just the way she words things, and sometimes those words are taken for face value as opposed to what she thought she was saying. She's slightly autistic though. Not saying you are, or that you sound like you are. Just telling you that so you know that I'm a whole lot more compassionate to you than maybe the other LGBT community was. You sound very young, and very confused, and as a trans woman, I am more than happy to help, and give you my advice. But if you ARE just interested in playing some game or tying to get attention or being a "trans-trender", you need to be aware that you are making it very difficult for a whole community to live as happily and fulfilled as they deserve to live. But again, I just know in my heart this is not the case.

So, now that the speech is done, ready for some advice? Ok the "BIG SECRET" is... just be yourself. Ok maybe way too much build up for such a simplistic answer. But there you have it. Be yourself. By being yourself, you are already living as the most sincere and genuine you. Now if that means you like to dress and appear as the opposite gender, then you may find that you are trans. Here's the thing, at least in my experience. When I was getting ready to come out as trans, and really still just trying to figure out just what I was, I used terms like gender fluid because I needed to have some kind of word to categorize myself. But once I started my transition, I only use the term female, and maybe trans, depending on the situation. But that's it. Again, trying to keep things as simplistic (there's that word again) as possible. There's a song out called "Complicated" by Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike vs. David Guetta ft. Kiiara (It's EDM and it's a great song), and there's a line that goes "Labels are so overrated, Let's not make it complicated" I think about the LGBT community every time I hear that part. What's with all these unnecessary labels? Anyways, I digress. You will figure things out as you go. In the meantime, you need to be telling that girlfriend of yours, so she too can make a decision. Her decision is gonna be whether or not she wants to stay with you if you are indeed trans. You can't be angry with her if she decides to leave, because this isn't what she signed up for. Also, she may stay with you, you never know. But either way, you need to be honest with her so she can be honest with you. So, as always, be strong, be empowered, and most of all be well. *Big hugs for ya!!*