As closeted, how would I go about getting a gay same-sex date in college?

If there's a GSA or similar at your school, you could join it or maybe just go to a few meetings. You could be out safely there, and it would be a good way to meet people.

 

I will caution you that dating while closeted causes problems, because majority (if not all) of people out there looking date don’t want to date someone who is closeted; it puts a lot of strain the relationship.

If you just wanted to meet people, hang out, or make friends, that’s okay, but anymore than that and you’ll run into some problems.

Cheers!

 

Not necessarily true. Maybe to really stuck up gay people that's a problem. If anything, queer/LGBT couples understand being closeted.

The only thing I can maybe slightly agree with you, is if the partner is in a heterosexual relationship, and they are hiding their LGBT/queer partner. For example, many straight married men have relationships with gay men and are closeted in that sense, or something like that. To where at that point, there potential friction. Yes.

But not being out to your family, or whatever, I don't think is that big of a deal. Well at least I don't. You don't know that persons situation.

 

Of course people can understand someone being closeted. There are many reasons as to why someone may want to remain closeted, and if that’s the situation then we can leave the conversation at that.

However, OP is asking how he can go on a date while being closeted. If casual dates (nothing too serious), is all OP is looking for, then that’s fine. But, if it’s a relationship that he is looking for, this is where he will run into problems; closeted people keep their sexual orientations to themselves, and don’t want people to know.

People go on dates because they would like to share their life with a significant other; transparent, with no hidden secrects. This is not possible with someone that is closeted. The premis of any successful relationship is to be open with your partner and not be afraid to show your affection to each other.

I was also afraid of my parents reaction when I came out to them, since they are also religious, so what you’re experiencing is fair. If you are financially dependent on your parents, then you’ll have to keep in mind your safety and well-being until you can be financially stable on your own.

 

No, that's not what OP is. He's just closeted to his family. If he's on this damn forum. he's, not closeted to himself, whatever the fuck that means if he wants to date other guys?

I don't think people should care if he's closeted to his family.

So he can't be in love, because his family is homophobic, that's fucked up.

 

im sorry

"The truth is beautiful and terrible thing,and should therefore be treated with great caution."
-Albus Dumbledore

 

I’d love to correct and clarify where you may be misinterpreting my post, but that is a conversation for another time; let’s not hijack the OP’s thread.

@OP,

First of all, don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s fair to say that you couldn’t tell your dad right then because you weren’t ready, and that’s ok.

What I’d recommend is working on being comfortable with your sexuality first, and this is without a doubt easier said than done. I found it helpful to surround myself with people who will support me for being who I am. Joining an LGBT support group may help as well. This process takes time, and everyone walks at their own pace to feel comfortable about themselves. There’s no need to feel guilty because of the missed opportunity, it just simply means you’re not ready. Don’t force yourself, be hopefull for the next chance.

For now, focus on coming out to yourself. Don’t worry about who else to come out to just yet, that’ll be the next step. Relationships can come after that, and I’m hoping you didn’t misinterpret my post earlier: even if your parents were homophobic, it doesn’t mean you won’t be able to find love. Dates are nice, I’ll admit, but it’ll make the relationship much more fulfilling when you’ve come to terms with yourself first.

Cheers!