Similar to another thread, I am curious if your family suspected that you were LGBT+. If they knew or suspected, what gave it away do you think? If they didn't suspect, why do you think that is?
My brother and at least one cousin said they knew for decades. They didn't elaborate, but I'd say everything from speech patterns, musicals, play choices as a child, to general attitude and demeanor all gave it away.
My Mom said she knew my whole life...maybe even before I did. I think mothers just have a sixth sense on things. Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't really have to do with masculinity or femininity all the time either. I wasn't that masculine. Sometimes they can tell by how awkward you act around the opposite sex too.
No, I think it came pretty much out of the blue (at least everyone said it did)--although to be fair back then I was actually the first out gay person of my friends and family had ever even met. On some level though I think my Mother must have had some inkling because when I finally tried to tell her and broke down and just couldn't she sort of guessed. After telling me several times that I could tell her anything and she would always love me, she finally referenced a friend of mine from school who had been disowned by his parents when he came out as gay, she took my hands, looked me square in the eye and said "You know your Father and I would never do what C***'s parents did, now what do you have to tell me?" She was an amazing and perceptive woman.
I forgot that my mom had a casual conversation with me after meeting my flamboyant college roommate, where she made it clear that she'd accept a gay child. She died a little over a year later so that's as far as it went, and ironically her death was a factor in my staying in the closet. My dad used to subtly try to blunt my more flamey behavior so I suspect he had some ideas too.
My parents sat me down when I was about 16-17 and asked if I was gay, I’ve always screamed lesbian. Lol. Obviously I denied it then declared I was bi a few months later. It came as no surprise to anyone close to me when I finally came out as gay at the age of 36 Should have had the balls to do it years ago but I suppose it was never the right time for me.
When I was six my parents asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I told them I wanted to marry the Lone Ranger and live in a tree house. I still do.
Now that you have those balls do you feel compelled to complete transition? Sorry, forgive me, I simply had to ask darling.
My mom still can't wrap her head around it. She thinks that I'm with my girlfriend now because I fell in love with *her* (which, yes...is technically true) but she doesn't really acknowledge anything more than that. To be fair, I never felt comfortable coming out to her or my dad until now. Although I hooked up with females and males in college, I never steadily dated someone who was female or other than male seriously enough to ever consider having to bring my family into the loop.
several relatives said they knew.... but i suspect that's more them not wanting to admit that they had no clue.
My mom had NO idea. Thinks im still confused. My uncle met my trigger and said “im so happy for you” without me saying anything. My dad and his suspected, as I has never introduced them to any men i dated but they did meet a few women i was into who were my friends and im obvious af i guess haha
I actually just talked my dad about this over the phone yesterday. He said he was very surprised, but honestly, he doesn't know me that well because I haven't lived with him in more than 20 years. And we really haven't been that close.
For me my parents didn’t seemed shocked and my mom said she’d never thought about it. My sister just didn’t care either way. It kind of sucks in some ways that they didn’t suspect. Means I was really good at hiding my true self for a long time. I was scared about my conservative Aunt who lives in the country. Her husband has talked badly about LGTBQ people. Her response was you know I don’t care if your a pink or green rainbow, right, I love you. I wonder if she suspected because of the stereotypes I fell under. Short hair, no boyfriends.
This is something I am battling right now. I'm literally in the midst of it with my mom visiting me for the first time since all this came up months ago. She thought she had accepted it but seeing me in person and hearing me talk about everything I am feeling is too much for her. She has been an emotional wreck and is mourning the idea of not only my husband no longer being my family but also having a gay daughter. Just last night she said "at least I have two other daughters".. and also "I fear I did something wrong to make this happen". It sucks. My dad is a whole other story of denial and not getting it. I understand that my parents have to go through their own acceptance process but man it's rough. Accepting things myself has been hard enough.
Well, the above situation is no fun to be in. Neither is mine but I think Im the elephant in the room. If not, I soon will be. My wife whom Im separating with in the next year has made it clear she knows Im dealing with GID. So if your SO asked if you had any delicates that need washing with a smile, or asked if you are "PMSing", or told you you left a button open and your boobs are showing... its a strong indicator is it not? People accepting that others are different should consider the anguish one goes though trying to be the round peg trying to fit in the square opening for the benefit of others. Accepting it for yourself is hard enough. I also accept I will give 1/2 of everything Ive worked for away, even though I played into the "that cant be me." So, in order to continue being on this rock I have started my MTF transition with help from the medical field and hope friends and family will understand its simply mandatory. I mean, who in the heck would every subject him or herself to the ridicule society generally paints upon people who simply want to be genuine... only a being who has run out of the ability to deny who they are regardless of consequences.
Literally nobody in my life was shocked when i told them i was gay. Actually, my younger brother but the whole idea is so far off his radar, he could have seen me kissing a girl and still not picked up on it. Most of my friends were just like "yeah we kind of knew" or "we got the vibe" and i was just stunned. And i mean i was married and i have kids. I was fooling nobody. My mum said she has always had a feeling, since i was younger. I remember when i was marrying my ex, she said "i thought i had to worry about you for a while there" because I'd get really full on obsessions with female celebrities. I told her i was gay about a month ago and she said "i know, i read your diary when you were younger" haha.
That I'm not the most masculine guy in the family, yeh that's obvious. But that I'm gay? They wouldn't even think of it in this society. I talk all religious; they wouldn't suspect a thing. My mother even talks about how big she would make my wedding and that I shouldn't say that I'm not interested in making a family one day. Annoying and very stressful but overall it gets a little funny. Internal shake of head.
Nope, nobody ever suspected I was gay. I appear masculine and I have masculineish interests. Other than that idk why nobody suspected I never talked about the opposite sex or gave any indication of interest in the opposite sex. I feel like that should have been a huge clue. Whenever I talked about a future partner with my parents I would always use non gender specific pronouns. Another good clue but maybe not strong enough for someone not looking for the clues. I don’t blame them for not knowing though, I was very good at hiding my true feelings. I could probably be an actor lol. Anyway I’m out now and it’s all good
I think deep down my parents always had their suspicions as did my sister. When I finally told them a few months ago, they all took it in stride and just said that no matter what they wanted me to be happy. My close friends were the same way. When I told the two I needed to reach out too for support the both said they had known since college and were surprised it had taken me this long to come to terms with it. I have yet to tell the rest of my family or anyone at work and honestly I am not sure that I will tell them any time soon. The important people in my life know. And right now, that is enough for me. I am comfortable with who I am and that too is a huge step for me and for the time being is enough.
