A few years ago, if you asked me to think about my future I would tell you that I couldn't. Beyond perhaps twenty years old was a blur of nothing. I figured I'd be dead by then. There was no future to think about, nothing to live or hope for. But life, life is so much more than that. Most of you reading this are probably between the age of 14 and 24. Maybe you are still in the closet or maybe you're partially out. Maybe you're already on HRT and awaiting surgery. Maybe you pass, maybe you don't. And maybe everyday still feels like a struggle that will never get better. But I can tell you from experience that I have been where you are and it does get better. About a month ago I was disowned by my parents after publicly coming out as trans. I remember I was speaking to my therapist following this - that I fear not ever being able to see my siblings again. That I won't ever get to watch them grow up or be a part of their lives. But he reminded me that there is no way I can know that. I'm 19 now and in university, and by the time my youngest brother is my age I will be 36 years old. I could be helping pay his college tuition. I am as involved in their lives as I choose to be. The fact is, the best part of your life probably hasn't happened yet. You've still got 3/4 of your life left! That is decades of chances, opportunities, sorrows, struggles, but most importantly - joys too. There is so much life left ahead of you to look forward to. You have no idea what is in store. The friends you have never met, the beautiful places you have not yet seen, the craziest adventures, most ridiculous mistakes, best food, most side splitting laughter... That is all ahead of you. And you've already made the first steps toward living authentically. You are so much stronger than you realize. Who you are is worth it. You deserve a better future. So take this day full of its shit and keep going. Make your bed, get dressed, eat. Breathe in the sunlight and put your headphones on. Become your own hero, if only for today.
Even at 55 years 4 months I am glad to read this. Even though my own parents are dead and who knows what they would think of me now I am sure that no matter what they thought of when younger or at 19 or 35 or now at 55 years old I have pretty much done what I wanted said what I said and I have always been who I am. But part of me wanted to please my mom. Good thing is was a small part of me. I am who I am and what I am is quite fabulous . I love who I am. at 19 I felt alone and unloved. By 21 I met and married the first time. To now I am happy with my life. I am married to a woman and I have my best friend. I have many friends and much support. I am me and I am wonderful. I am me and I love what I have done with my life. I have never been straight but I love with all my heart.
i cried when i read this cause right now i feel scared and lost the only person that gets me is my mom i still feel that way, i have no friends and i'm not really close with any one else i know i came in this word alone and i'll die alone i kinda feel like it's either now or never i guess i made a decision that's going to change my life for ever i guess i can't walk away nor run from this or try to hide away from it will i ask my self if i did the right thing for the rest of my life?
Thanks for this Kodo. It means a lot to hear and I know these words can help a lot of other trans people as well. I can't say anything better than what you did, but it resonates deeply. I wish you all the best.