Grateful for what?

I hear you. You sound like someone who needs a life philosophy with a bit more "beef" to it than just "think positive" or "it gets better." People have struggled with the issues you have mentioned for millennia and have found many different ways to give their lives meaning. You might want to start exploring these philosophies and religions.

 

It seems that you come from the perspective of nihilism and that you are searching for meaning in your life. I went through a similar period where I reconstructed my life's meaning after deconstructing my programming from early childhood (including the idea that being gay is wrong and the heteronormative norms of our society).

Gratitude and appreciation are practices, like meditation or yoga, that help you start your day with a positive outlook. If you actually tried them instead of dismissing them of out hand, you might discover that it would help you counteract the meaningless around you, for the practice helps you identify and reinforce areas of your life that are meaningful to you.

What do you want to get from posting here on EC? Are you just looking for opportunities to be a contrarian, which has been my experience with you so far, or do you want to make some changes in your life? What outcomes are you looking to achieve?

 

You're right. Our styles don't match. Good luck and good bye.

 

This one sentence makes it pretty obvious that you haven't read any of the foundational texts of either practice. That would be where I would start if I were you.

 

Ok, Dax, if you are looking for a logically deductible foundation that explains existence in general you are unlikely to find it because there isn't one. Existence is inherently irrational and paradoxal and therefore, no one has ever succeded in making logical sense of it, in spite of so many historical attempts. The universe is here, each one of us is here, period. That's all there is. Now, what this means and what you want to do about it, it entirely up to you. Some people kill themselves, others embrace hedonism, others adopt a conventional lifestyle, some retire into a monastery, others dedicate theirs lives to helping others alleviate suffering, many do a bit of everything, you name it. There are infinite ways to live this one life we've got. Do whatever you want to do out of it!

 

For what it's worth, I am with you 100%. Gratefulness is a myth. It is something made up by people that are already happy to further perpetuate their awesome, wonderful, super, amazing lives onto others. In other words, if they can be grateful, Why can't you?

 

DAXIII if your looking for a point to life; here. Live! that's it Live. do the best you can, make challenges opportunities. im not grateful because im awesome. not even close. im grateful because i've been in real darkness, years of abuse and i didnt get out of that alone or because im super or anything, i got out because im alive, because i reached out for help and accepted it when it was offered. if i'd said i wanted help but didnt do what professionals and friends suggested, guess what? i'd of stayed where i was, i would not have grown or be where i am now, im not some Pollyanna i've walked in very dark places and i came out. not unscathed by any means, but i came out and i am healing, i am growing. if you cant or wont reach out and accept help, you tend to stay exactly where you are. for some people they are happy being miserable, personally i've grown beyond that. i encourage you to reach out and accept.

 

For some people suicide is real, this is not a joke. Is this your form of cruel entertainment? Do you know what it feels like when someone in your life commits suicide?

 

Being grateful is subjective.
Thanks for the mind-tickling thoughts
I am grateful for you DAXIII, for you speak your mind, I sense great intelligence in your questions, I hope you find the answers you're looking for.

But mind you, people who quest to unlock the secrets of the universe don't die happy, and on the contrary many fools die happy.

Crying out for help comes in different forms, seek it, hang on to it, whatever you pefer, and perhaps there'd be something you'd be grateful for, for whatever reasons you choose. Being greatful for things that happened, things that didn't happen, things that will and won't happen, and all other tenses.

As for me I'm grateful for this day, I'm thankful for different kinds of people, for the optimists and pessimists, for the contrast in life, the wonderful mystery that is life.
I am grateful to exist and waste space as of the moment, I am hopeful to make the change I need. For all of these and more, I am grateful.

 

Words like Dax's that leave children without fathers are not words I'm grateful to hear. Some people lose people to suicide and that leaves a chasm of pain. Talking people out of hope is not speaking your mind, it's cruel.

I should add it's also not very clever. Dax may be intelligent, perhaps, can't tell. These posts by Dax don't give me any glimpse of intelligence, just a lot of words playing at being clever.

 

A lot of spirit in that sentence. Is that what makes you carry on?

Also have you read any Nietzsche? I haven't but I believe he found a way out of nihilism somehow.
I've been a nihilist in desperate search for meaning since childhood. Finding a negative in every positive situation is one of my great talents. I'm gradually finding that the only answers to the big questions that satisfy me and don't seem flimsy and too superficially cheerful have to be hard won through experience, they can't really be shared or put to words. And sometimes I do feel gratitude but not when somebody else tells me I should. It has to come unexpected and shine through all the gloom almost despite myself. Those experiences truly hold water. It also sometimes seems to me that paradoxically the quest for meaning might be the meaning we are looking for. So keep asking the big questions and don't leave any stone unturned!

 

I've thought of something else. I've been in therapy for a few years now and sometimes when I'm deep in a nihilistic period/depression or whatever it becomes almost like a game with the therapist. As if I'm testing how much negativity can she take before offering some hope or optimistic thought (which of course I'm bound to reject with gusto). As if I want to know - can someone really, truly, completely accept me like this, in all the nasty black despair and not try to change me into something chirpy that's easier to handle? But that's not philosophy but psychology.

This may not be relevant to you at all, I don't know. I just want to say I find your posts refreshing somehow.