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Grandma, Faith, School, Stress... I'm GAY!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by TanMan, Oct 14, 2017.

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  1. TanMan

    TanMan
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2016
    Messages:
    90
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    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Long story short, my Grandma found out that I'm gay back in July. I posted on Facebook, and a couple days later my uncle called her and told her. I live(d) with my Grandma, and I didn't have the courage to tell her personally... and I knew word would eventually get back to her.

    Well, my Grandma passed away 2 weeks ago and I'm having the toughest time ever! I'm currently in nursing school. and it has taken a toll on me to where I bombed my last two exams. Thankfully I aced the first exam, but I'm on the fence of passing... I'm passing by .54%

    Anyways, my Grandma was a devout Christian, and God and Jesus was her life. Ill never forget the day my uncle called her (I was listening on the other end of the line), and I confronted her about it. It literally broke her heart. She said she loved me no matter what, but she kept saying that God didn't make me this way. I, myself, am a Christian. I had a hard time growing up gay, but I finally accepted myself a little over a year ago.

    My Grandma was my best friend. She was my everything. We were very close, and I saw her every day. We had a bond that not many Grandparents and Grandchildren had. While she was sick, I was there to take care of her... it was so hard doing that and nursing school at the same time, but I feel like this will make me a better nurse.

    I really don't know what I'm asking... I guess I just needed to vent. But I do have one question: While I have accepted myself for being gay, I'm just having a hard time with it while having my faith in God. Like, I personally feel that God made me this way, but then it feels like I'm going "against the word of God" by liking the same sex. What can I do about this. My Grandma loved me so much, but she didn't like that I was gay. When I told my parents in November of last year, they were basically the same as my Grandma and acted like she did... They still love me, but don't like that I'm gay. They got in contact with our Pastor at the church, and they want me to go and talk with him about it. They think God can "heal me," but I know I don't need healing because it's okay to be gay (plus I know it wont work cause I spent years praying)... but then I keep contraindicating that it isn't okay, and I'm going against everything. Please, I need some advice. I just feel lost, and I totally DONT need this with nursing school.

    Thanks in advance!
     
    #1 TanMan, Oct 14, 2017
  2. jonnemack

    jonnemack
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2014
    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Are you from Puerto Rico and studies at Universidad Adventista de las Antillas? Your story seems a lot like my friend's. Anyway, if you are who you think you are, you can message me, Peter, at facebook. Oh yea, I am here too, sir.

    Honestly though I can't say much about your church and on how your community reacts about the LGBT issues. What I can tell you is that you are an exemplary christian, "even though" you are gay. Note that I don't really mean what I say on quotes because being a devoted christian has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.

    There is nothing to be healed and nothing to be changed in you. Jesus said: "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.". Nowhere in modern bible interpretation there's a single passage where it is condemned to be gay, or even to participate in another religion.

    My friend, LOVE is the most important thing any religion can teach you. Not only romantic love, but love in general. Mankind can only stop suffering, like you are, by accepting that if one's difference can't harm you, then one should be free to life its life! I know it is hard, but sometimes you gotta just insist on that with your parents or anyone in your uptight christian community. LOVE is the strongest word and it is the one that can't be retorted.

    If you really belive in God and in the words of Jesus Christ, then your Nanny is in heaven having a good regret. She knows that besides God, where all devoted christians go, there's a place for everyone. She also knows how much trouble she might have put on your head, but finally she knows you are strong enough to overcome that.

    Make your nanny proud, she knows you deserve better than that. Battle your parents in a good way and insist on LOVE all the time. That's all I have to say. Keep your faith because if what Jesus said is true, no matter your sexual orientation, you are ought a place in heaven for your good deeds on earth. Stay strong!
     
    #2 jonnemack, Oct 14, 2017
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